Dear Freakin' Angel readers, this is the first in what will be monthly posts by my son Ian, age 12. Since Ian is frequently the subject of my writing, I think it's fair that he should have his say (but no more than once a month). He also happens to be pretty damn funny. Enjoy "How Ian Sees It."
It’s great because, well, it’s a cell phone. I can’t explain it any more than that. You can do anything with a cell phone. The bad side is that now I can’t bug my parents about how they should get their phones implanted in their side because I barely put mine down. Another problem is that whenever I go anywhere my mom will be expecting me to text her every twenty minutes.
The absolute worst problem is that I have to be careful not to let THE BOSS see it. My mom just wanted me to have a phone that could call in case of emergencies. She wanted my dad to get me one of those plastic phones in the scholastic magazine instead of a phone that has a camera, a slide out QWERTY keyboard, and unlimited texting.
My mom isn’t big on spending money. For example, since Abby is the favorite, she gets to eat at the table while I get the leftovers thrown at me. For those of you who are new, I live on a chain in the basement. If my mom doesn’t “forget” to feed me, I MIGHT get food. See, the rats have the advantage in numbers, so they get most of the food, while I get a crumb or two. But that’s another post.
Now, my mom is going crazy about the phone bill, while my dad says my phone is the most practical phone for my age. I’m just going to stay in my basement corner and see how this one plays out. Sorry, I have to go. It’s feeding time and if I don’t beat the rats I may end up with no food.
