The Head Games We Play with Forbidden Love

There's a new love in my life, and like many loves, this one should be forbidden. I'm in love with Dunkin  Donuts muffins. Preferably the coffee cake or chocolate chip  variety.

Yesterday I was headed toward a 9:00 a.m. seminar about 20 miles from my house, and I contemplated a stop at my neighborhood DD before starting on my journey. But reason prevailed--I'd already eaten an English Muffin and the local DD was not on the way.

Now my travels just happened to take me through a major retail/dining thoroughfare, so naturally I passed a DD on my way to my destination. And that's when the head game began. I decided that if I should see another DD on my route, I would allow myself to stop for a muffin. At that point, after all, the fates would have ordained it.

It wasn't long before another DD appeared, but alas, I was in the wrong lane. I decided to move into the slower right lane in order to avoid messing with the fates. And voila! My commitment was rewarded with not just another DD, but a DD with a drive-thru! And who was in front of me in the drive-thru lane but a Philadelphia police officer. This meant that not only was my muffin stop preordained, but it was also a very safe choice given the protection in line ahead of me.

Whenever I go through a DD drive-thru, I'm struck by what a testament it is to my/our character. I don't want to burn even minimal calories walking from the car into the restaurant in my pursuit of sugar and fat. In fact, have you noticed that nearly everything that we can obtain via drive-thru is bad for us? Fast food. Beer. Donuts. When is the last time you picked up fresh fruit and vegetables at a drive-thru? But then who craves an apple or broccoli the way you crave french fries, milkshakes, or beer? But I transgress...

All told, my journey turned up SEVEN Dunkin Donuts locations in about a 15 stretch. All on my side of the road. Interestingly, there were no DDs for about the last couple miles of my drive. Do you know what I saw instead? About ten different places of worship. Several synagogues, an Islamic community center, a number of diverse types of churches including one with services in Korean. And funeral homes. Now it may have been the fates messing with me, or God speaking to me, but it was as if I was supposed to be praying for forgiveness for my gluttony...before I die and the funeral home puts my enlarged body on display.

Let me wrap this up by saying that I really learned my lesson on the way home. I didn't play any head games with myself. I didn't test the fates by considering stopping at the third Pretzel Boys location I saw. After all, I knew there was only one Pretzel Boys...And have I told you how much I LOVE soft pretzels?

Side note: I may have cured myself of my love for DD muffins in writing this post. When I searched for an image to use, I found it on a list of the 25 worst things to eat. The ugly truth:

• Calories: 660
• Calories from fat: 230 
• Grams of saturated fat (that's the bad kind): 7 grams
• Sugar: 57 grams

I'm not going to look up the nutritional value of my beloved soft pretzels because that would just ruin my weekend.