What I Learned on My Denver Vacation

Thanks to the kindness and support of my wonderful friends Cathie, Linda, Emily & Dave, Mo & Doug, Michelle, Andi, and LeighAnn, I was able to ditch my own family and spend Wednesday through Sunday in Castle Rock, Colorado with my sister and my mom and my nephew William. I learned many valuable things during this time, including:

• I miss the toddler years:

In mommy's toe socks

• I don't miss the toddler years:

A long car ride induced meltdown

• Seven movies* in five days is too many, even for me. And five chick flicks in five days is way over the limit.
• My sister is unkind to those who pack carelessly. Do not forget your underwear when visiting her.
• Based on the Phillies post-season performance over the past three years (World Series win, World Series loss, NLCS loss), I predict we will lose the NLDS next year.
• Everything sounds cuter when you put an "fr" in front of it. For example: "fruck," "fractor," and "frurch"
• This is a terrible name for a convenience store (or any store, for that matter):

• When all else fails, go out for margaritas.
• Don't pick your nose in front of a kid who's got a thing for tissues.
• Do not brush your teeth in the guest bathroom if you've been told not to use said bathroom, even if you're a guest.
• Relatives do not qualify as guests.
• My sister's idea of bringing up her son with religion is to drive by a church, identify it as such, point out the cross, tell William "God is there," and teach him to say "Amen."
• Picking vegetables is great fun when accompanied by a curious 2-year-old:

• Spouses left at home to deal with the day-to-day will never sound happy to speak to the spouse who is out of town.
• Walking through corn fields makes me think of Field of Dreams. I always expect to run into Shoeless Joe Jackson.

• Regardless of how much family members might miss each other when they live far apart, chances are excellent that over the course of a one or two week visit, someone will want to throw someone else off a bridge or smother them in their sleep.
• Only little kids miss their parents when they go out of town. Older kids won't even go along to the airport to pick mom up, or acknowledge her arrival at home until the computer game they are playing is completed.
• A smile like this will cure everything that ails you:

*Movies included (rating on a chick flick skewed scale of 1-5 stars):

1. Grown Ups: 3.5 stars (a goofball cast like this was bound to provide a good number of chuckles, even in the airplane edited version.)
2. Mama Mia: 3 stars (Pierce Brosnan should be prohibited from ever singing in a movie again.)
3. Just Wright: 4 stars (Queen Latifah deserves the fine brother!)
4. Four Christmases: 3.5 stars (Vince Vaugn and Reese Witherspoon get 3 stars just for showing up.)
5. When in Rome: 1 star. (Do not watch more than 10 minutes of this movie in the hopes that it will get better. As my sister can attest, it doesn't.)
6. The Bounty Hunter: 2.5 stars (Jennifer Aniston has the range of a potato.)
7. Dinner for Schmucks: 4 stars (Steve Carrell is just one heck of a funny guy.)
   
   
   Thanks to Rev. Irwin-Diehl for providing the chick flicks listed above!