Random Musings, VIII: Food Edition

It's been too long. I don't usually go two weeks without writing. You know it's not because I have nothing to say. I ALWAYS have something to say. Unfortunately, right now much of what I have to say isn't ideal blog material. There's the new guy I'm working for who's 10+ years younger than me (I'm not sure I'm ready to confess my angst about that). There's the crushing situation impacting my church (it wouldn't be appropriate to share at this point). There's the emotional exhaustion I'm feeling from a ridiculously difficult year that's less than half over (that's depressing). So in the interest of meeting your Freakin' Angel needs (isn't it cute the way I assume you need me?), I'm happy to share a new volume (#8!) of Random Musings. Food Edition.

Those of you who know me well, know that I have a few food issues. For instance, I generally try to avoid anything healthy. I work out so I can eat badly. I also don't like "crunch" in my food. Nothing inside something else that makes its presence known. Example: celery or onions in stuffing. Peppers in crab cakes. I'm pleased to say, however, that I've met someone who has even more food quirks than me. My soul sister and colleague Kelly won't eat lettuce because she thinks it tastes like grass. Not that she's eaten grass, but she assumes that's how it would taste.

But enough about the quirks. Here are some random food-related thoughts from a Freakin' Angel:

1. Fish heads. Seriously, why would a chef think it's a nice idea to put the whole fish, head included, on your plate? How can you eat it when it still has eyes?
2. Uncut chicken breasts on salad. If I'm paying for the salad, the least you can do is cut the damn chicken for me. You know I can't eat it like that, and have you ever tried to cut on top of lettuce? Not particularly effective, which means you have to remove the chicken from the salad to cut it up. This is annoying, especially when you're hungry and just want to get down to business.
3. Shrimp. Along these lines, why do restaurants insist on presenting shrimp with the shell on? I like scampi, but I don't like dipping my hands in the buttery sauce to remove the crunchy part from the main ingredient in my meal (refer to my comments above about crunch).
4. Leftovers. Why do we keep leftovers we know we'll never eat? If you're like me, you wait until they're moldy so you feel justified tossing them. Weird.
5. Storage containers. Speaking of leftovers, is it just me, or does it seem that whichever Tupperware dish you dump your leftovers into, is bound to be the one you can't find a lid for? If you're one of those people with completely organized storage containers, you suck I don't want to know.
   
6. Burnt food. In another example of the head games I play with myself (and my family), I turn burnt food over so the lighter side shows, tricking my brain into thinking it doesn't taste like charcoal.  
7. Bread. Who else leaves the heel of the bread in the bag in the pantry, even though you already opened a new loaf and have no intention of finishing the other? When it's moldy, then you can throw it out.
8. Miniatures. Why does food always taste better in smaller sizes?  Mini cupcakes, pierogies and goldfish, for example. And those miniature bottles of condiments are so darn cute! Of course there's something psychologically befuddling about miniatures, the way you eat way more than if you had just selected the original sized item.
9. Sunflower seeds. What's the deal with the ones with the shells on them? There's so little reward for all the crunching and spitting involved. I don't get the appeal. 
   
10. Vegetables. I have made a fascinating discovery. There is a direct correlation between the number of people who like a certain vegetable and how difficult it is to spell. Research proves me right. According to Ranker.com's list of the most popular vegetables, potato, carrot, onion (bleh), tomato, corn and  peas are among the top 10.  Lower on the list? Broccoli, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, rhubarb, artichokes, cauliflower and zucchini. 

I hope you've enjoyed this food-themed issue of Random Musings. I'd love to hear some of your related random thoughts!

Hairspray, Traffic Circles, and Diners (a.k.a. "How You Know You're in Jersey")

This has been a week of tributes to the fine state of New Jersey where I took my fast-paced and supercool social media marketing class at Rutgers University. On Monday I used a good amount of hair spray. On Tuesday I contemplated going to a movie (the nation's first drive-in theater was in Camden). Today is Wednesday and I am saluting diners.

If you live in New Jersey or have ever been there, you know that there is one diner for about every 10 people in the state. Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. But there are seriously a boatload of diners, and don't just take my word for it. According 50States.com, New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes glowingly referred to as the Diner Capital of the World. New Jersey is also home to the world's tallest water tower, however you can't eat there.

For some strange reason, I am a big fan of diners. Last week I went to two of them, one in Cinnaminson for dinner before my trek to Rutgers, the other in Piscataway for breakfast before my class. Truth be told, the food wasn't that great at either of them, and when I think about it, I'm not sure I've ever had a really good meal at any diner. This is probably why my high school friend Tom confessed, "I only ever end up at a diner after I've had too many drinks."

So what attracts me to diners if it's not the good food? I've narrowed it down to these three possibilities:

• The cool stainless steel exteriors with the neon lights
• The 27-page menus that offer everything except foie gras which I would never eat anyway
• The dessert cases you see when you first walk in the door

Who am I kidding? It's the dessert case. The interesting thing is I never rarely hardy ever get dessert. By the time I've loaded myself up with pancakes, hash browns, and bacon, or mashed potatoes and gravy, overcooked beef, rolls, and applesauce, there's just no room left for the good stuff. And for some strange reason I never rarely hardy ever buy something to take home with me.

So there you have it, my personal diner reflection. Perhaps tomorrow I'll dive into why so many of them are owned by Greek families (my new Rutgers friend Eva can possibly help with that one).

Now, please share with Freakin' Angel readers the best or worst diner experience you've had!

Gastronomical Reflections, Part II

It was a dark and stormy night. Ah, no. That's Snoopy's line. And it wasn't nighttime. And it wasn't stormy. But it was dark, inside at least. But let me back up a bit.

On Sunday, Rob and I left the chilly temps of Key West and moved north to Hollywood, Florida where we'd be colder and closer to the airport for our flight the next day.

Another reason to head to Hollywood was a special gastronomical adventure that Rob wanted me to experience. The site of this adventure? Le Tub. Here's a brief history of Le Tub from its website: Established November 2nd 1959 as a Sunoco gas station.... Closed by the energy crunch of the early seventies, your Host purchased the barren property in 1974 and dedicated a concentrated year personally hand building LeTub totally of Flotsam, Jetsam and ocean borne treasures all gathered daily over 4 years of day break jogging on Hollywood Beach.
  
Le Tub is barely visible behind foliage and bamboo fencing. A hand-painted sign is the only indication that there's something lurking there along the Inter-Coastal Waterway. Most of the seating is outdoors along the water with a lovely view of the yachts passing by. Of course, the frigid temperatures weren't going to accommodate outdoor dining so we were ushered into the bowels of Le Tub. And "bowels" is really an appropriate word since the landscaping featured many a toilet bowl. But wait, it gets better.

We entered the darkest restaurant I've ever been in in my life. Not romantic dark. Just dark. As in, no lighting. We passed a group of locals at the "community table" and as we took our seat in a corner by the window I was overcome by a fear of the unseen. Who knows what could have been lurking in those corners, under the table, on the table, at the bar, in the kitchen? And the fish nets hanging from the ceiling, I could just imagine what was caught in those things, and potentially dropping onto my food.


A familiar yet misplaced scent permeated the place. It turned out to be a wood-burning fireplace. Again, not for romance, but for heat. There was literally no other source of heat in the place. At our seat near the window I could actually see my breath. That was a first!

And then came the food. Le Tub is known for its burgers. In fact, according to its website, GQ and The Oprah Winfrey Show both claimed they had the best burgers in the country. As a meat and potatoes kind of girl, this held great potential. As I watched the guy in the kitchen (can you call something the size of a small closet a kitchen?), I sensed good things. He was back there making the patties by hand and cutting the lettuce and tomatoes. 


So we ordered. Chips and homemade salsa, french fries, and a couple beers to hold us over while our 13 ounce cheeseburgers were cooking. I should note that we only ordered the fries so that the heat from them would warm us up. Of course we didn't need fries seeing as we were about to ingest 13 ounces of ground beef .



And then they arrived.


And they were wonderful. And it was worth seeing my breath because of the cold. And it was worth eating in the dark. And it was worth passing the toilet bowls on the way in and out. Because really, a good cheeseburger is one of the finest treats on earth.



I leave you with just one final thought. Thirteen ounces is a whole lotta meat. You might want to share yours with a friend. And if you need a friend, just call me, preferably when we can dine outdoors!

 

Gastronomical Reflections

When we weren't braving the record-setting low temperatures in Key West this past weekend, Rob and I were forced to spend our time indoors, eating and drinking. Heck, even the movie theater served food, beer and wine! (I recommend seeing "Invictus," btw). During breakfast at Blue Heaven, a funky spot with chickens in the yard, an eclectic mix of furnishings, and outstanding food, Rob remarked that it might be among his top 10 most memorable dining experiences. That led to a discussion about other memorable spots and even with my horrible long-term memory, I was able to name a few - ALL of which are from my childhood which means that Rob really needs to take me out more. Among my favorites, in no particular order:

• Youell's Oyster House on College Hill in Easton, PA (sadly no longer there and the other location was never as good)
  
• Crossroads Hotel in Hellertown, PA - best pizza, steak sandwiches and pitchers of beer around - and no atmosphere to speak of unless you count the big fish on the wall
• The Ritz at the Allentown Fairgrounds* - I remember going there for ice cream with my parents when I was little
• The Shanty* in Allentown - a really good salad bar, and that's saying something since I don't even eat veggies!
  
• Yocco's - the infamous hot dog chain in the Lehigh Valley. Memories of "meals" complete with deep fried pierogies with my aunts and Nana
• The Paddock* in Allentown - another classic pizza spot
  

*I haven't been to these places in years and cannot attest to whether they're still any good or even still exist!

What this list goes to show is that 1) I have low-brow taste when it comes to restaurants and 2) It's a miracle my cholesterol, blood pressure, and weight aren't through the roof.

Tomorrow, I'll add to this post with the story of my newest and most unique dining experience ever. A tale of dark corners, icy drafts, and seriously big beef!

Meanwhile, share your most memorable dining experiences or spots with the rest of our Freakin' Angel readers.