"You Annoy Me" or "I'm Busy This Month"

There's a long list of parenting things that I'm not particularly good at, including:

• Arts & Crafts
• Cooking actual meals
• Math homework
• Braiding hair
• Limiting video game time

As my children grow older, however, I find their friendships to be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. 

I imagine every parent has been in the difficult position of comforting their child after they've been hurt by a friend. An unkind word, a new bff, a phone call that's never returned. These are painful experiences even for adults, but can be devastating to a child whose world is their friends. There simply are no words that can make it all better when the girl or boy you thought was your bff decides to not invite you to their birthday party. Trust me, I've tried to explain that one.

When you're first in the terrible position of healing the hurts inflicted upon your child, it never occurs to you that someday the tables will turn and your child will be the one in a position to hurt another. And I have to confess that I can't figure out any way around it without encouraging accepting my child lying to that friend.

The reality is that kids at this age outgrow one another, discover qualities they don't like in each other, and simply stop enjoying each other's company. When this happens and it's not mutual, interactions become awkward. I figure there are three options when your child finds him/herself in this situation:

1. Grin and bear it and maintain a friendship they're no longer interested in
2. Tell the other child they no longer like them want to hang out 
3. Lie and tell the "friend" they are being forced to spend time with their family (against their will, of course), they're grounded, or they're suffering from the bubonic plague

Grinning and bearing isn't easy or fair, and telling the other kid the truth is brutal (for both parties). That's why I'm in the unChristian camp of believing a small fib to avoid hurting someone is better than the ugly truth. I realize that this doesn't always solve the problem (particularly with children that don't easily pick up on "hints"). I also know that this is akin to teaching your child it's okay to lie, but I'm at a loss for a better way to manage the rocky road of tween and teenage friendships.

So, Freakin' Angel readers, what say you? I'm looking for advice here.Seriously. And yes, you can tell me I'm a terrible mom to think it's ever okay to lie...But I know you're lying if you claim you've never done it yourself.

Now, please excuse me. My alma mater is on the phone looking for donations. I have to tell them I'm the babysitter and Kim "Shimmer" isn't home...