If you're not a Glee watcher or know nothing about the program, let me quickly summarize it for you. It's about a bunch of diverse high school students who have two things in common: 1) they're in the Glee club -- a singing/dancing performance group, and 2) they're all outcasts of one sort or another. The show routinely tackles some difficult subjects, not the least of which includes intimacy with the opposite--or same--sex. I could write a whole post on the angles from which "relations" have been addressed, but today I want to focus on this most recent episode.
The show begins with two of Glee's stars (Rachel and Blaine) finishing a rehearsal performance of their West Side Story love song in their starring roles as Maria and Tony. Despite a goose bump worthy performance (at least according to this critic), fellow student Arnie, one of the school musical's producers, suggests that it lacks passion, the passion that one can only express by recalling his or her own sexual awakening. And, if they haven't been "sexually awakened," how can they be believable in their roles? We should note that Artie, though wheelchair bound, lost his virginity in another season's episode.
With their Broadway ambitions on the line and their significant others on their minds, Rachel and Blaine decide to lose their virginity to their boyfriends (Finn and Kurt respectively). Rachel seeks counsel from the fellow Glee girls who almost universally support the idea of her and Finn consummating their relationship, (though the trouble maker in the bunch notes that he was "terrible in bed"). In fact, one of the show's most understated and seemingly rational characters, Tina, warmly reflects on how special it was to lose her virginity to her boyfriend Mike because of the true love they have for each other.
First, let's disregard how awkward it was to be watching this with your child. Let's instead consider the pros and cons of Glee straightforwardly addressing the topic of losing ones virginity. On the plus side:
- While Rachel and Blaine first consider taking action as a means of growing into their roles in the school musical, ultimately they recognize that this should not be the basis for losing ones virginity.
- Kurt refuses a drunken Blaine's advances and waits till it's a moment they can both be certain of.
- We know that at least Rachel and Finn use protection.
- The big moment is presented with good taste and as much modesty as possible while still getting across the point that two people are in bed and are about to or have just had sex
Now for the cons:
- When instigator Artie mentions "sexual awakening," his two fellow adult producers, a guidance counselor and football coach, quickly display discomfort and leave the room. At no point do they engage the students in any way. No adult is involved at any point in this episode.
- The decision is made quickly for both couples. Seemingly within the span or a day or two. It is not one that has been contemplated or reflected on in many episodes over what can be seen as a significant period of time.
- Glee is a life-changer for thousands of kids. Think I'm exaggerating? Just watch the movie, read the Facebook posts, listen to the Twitter chatter, and check out the dozens of websites created by fans. For many, Glee is a lifeline that makes them feel like they're not so different after all. A true gift during the most difficult stage in one's life.
I don't want to know tweens and teens were having sex before this episode aired. I know kids who aren't having sex are thinking about sex. I realize it's our responsibility as parents to monitor their television viewing (easier said then done). I understand that we need to be communicating with our children about this difficult subject well before they see it on Glee (unless they're ten and you thought you still had time to get to "the talk"). But ultimately I also believe television producers have some sort of obligation to consider the message they're sending.
I did not have sex in high school (there, I said it, just in case you were wondering) and even though I was slightly older when "it" happened, I'm still not sure I was mature enough. Maybe it's because I'm a mom now, but I don't think you're emotionally and mentally read till you're about 30. Okay, 29. I'd hate to see kids (that's what they are) decide to "go all the way" with the "love of their life" (for that week, month, or even year) because a television show that they respect made it seem like the right thing to do. I hope Glee addresses the potential repercussions of this level of intimacy in future episodes, and that it won't come too late for the kids who already made their big decision.
I know you have something to say on this one, so let's see those comments.
4 comments:
I am completely with you on this Kim. I do think that if it is OK with the Glee characters, it becomes more OK with real kids. On the plus side (for me), my boys hate Glee like a poison so maybe this episode will make them remain virgins until they are 30. They certainly refuse to sing any songs featured on the show. One can hope.
All that said, when we were kids there was a real stigma to having sex (ready for this) before you were married... or at leat that is what everyone pretended. But I think it is THAT pressue not to have sex that kept many (not exactly all) of us from doing the deed until college or beyond. That pressure no longer exists - and I dont think it is coming back anytime soon. And its too bad because knowing now what I wish I had known then, you really arent equipt to handle the emotional shit that goes along with sex until you are much older - as you aptly said. But you know what - it aint changing back - so we parents have to adjust to a new reality and wither apply that pressure ourselves or give our kids the tools to handle these messages as best they can. I hoping for a few more years but I predict lots of bottles of red wine between all of us moms as we move through it.
Can I have white wine instead?
I think I need more than wine to get through it - several bottles of gin, perhaps?
I agree with your take on Glee and it's youth culture influence. I was really hoping that at least one of them would chose not to go through with it, at least that would have presented a "balanced" approach.
I'm probably showing my age card on this one, but I remember similar discussions about Donna Martin and how scandalous it was when she finally did, and that was in college!
OK, my first thought is, shoot, I should have watched that episode with Ryan! (I couldn't have--was in Orlando that day--but still!)
My second thought is, what a missed opportunity for me--although I may be able to recover it. I very much appreciate the concerns you raise about this kind of content on an 8:00 prime time show targeted at teens (and adults-who-still-appreciate-teens). At the same time, I think the key issue is the one you highlighted briefly--that no adults were involved at all.
I can guess that the writers and producers may have assumed that teens want to make this decision on their own, without instruction or prohibitions from adults. After all, in the end, it is a decision that a teen (or adult) will make for him or herself.
And yet, even in this postmodern generation with little regard for external rules and morals, where we each discover our own "truth," tv shows, books, and movies with controversial content offer parents and teachers a great opportunity to engage tweens, teens, and even young adults in thoughtful conversations and discussions about choices and the basis for making such choices. I've loved the talks I've had in recent years with my now-13-year-old and even increasingly with my 11-year-old ... about sex and faith and violence and all sorts of stuff (but especially sex and girls!). I always thought I wouldn't have that as a mother since I have 3 boys, but they are as eager as any girl I know to ask me questions and share their ideas.
So, while I agree that caution should be exercised in prime-time (or PG and PG-13 ratings), I also embrace the idea that edgy content opens space for edgy conversations and wiser decision-making. When we teach our kids to interpret what they see--through their own lenses and not merely through glasses that we put on them--they are much better equipped (on their good days!) to make mature choices. At least, I pray that the coming years will bear such fruit in my family!
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