My Approach to Winter: Grin and "Bear" It

The frigid temperatures, and what I hope is just a temporary visit from the Funkapotomus, have led me to conclude that I would do well as a bear. Yes, I do believe I would enjoy hibernation a great deal:

The Top 10 Reasons I'd Like to be a Bear

1. No matter how hairy they get, no one expects a bear to shave.
2. I could gain 40 lbs a week over the summer and then sleep it off beginning in October.
3. I'd wake up in bathing suit shape in April or May without having done a lick of exercise.
4. Even if I still had some pounds to shed, no one would dare say anything about it. Cause I'm a bear.
5. If someone woke me up, I'd be perfectly justified in biting their head off. Literally.
6. No more running to the bathroom. I could hold it for months. 
7. It's the perfect life for an introvert.
8. Male bear wouldn't expect any action for a few months. 
9. Sleeping away all those months would make the wait for season 3 of Homeland a bit more "bearable."
10. The kids could live on milk for a few months, meaning I'd do a lot less cooking. Although I "bearly" do any cooking now.

So, what animal would you like to be?