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I don't know if last week's tragedy in Nether Providence Township, where I live, made national news, but if you're anywhere in the Philadelphia region you probably heard about Maria Reyes White, the woman who took a glass of water and two knives to bed with her last Sunday evening, waited till her husband fell asleep, and then stabbed him to death.
Karen, one of my dearest friends, worked with White at the local elementary school where she was a teacher's support aide. When she learned what had happened, Karen, like the rest of her colleagues, was in shock. White was a woman they all loved, admired, and respected. She was a devout woman of faith who adored children. She was normal. Just a quieter version of the rest of us. How was it possible that she had committed murder? Karen's response to this horrific tragedy ran the gamut of emotions -- shock, disbelief, anger, fear, sadness, guilt. Yes, even guilt. Karen acknowledged that in the two weeks leading up to that Sunday night, White "wasn't herself." She seemed agitated and easily frustrated. White explained that she hadn't been sleeping and that she wasn't feeling well. She went home sick on several occasions. Karen and her fellow teachers expressed their concern, undoubtedly some suggested she see a doctor, but that's where their involvement ended.
Karen is heartbroken because of that. Because she believes if someone had reached out and helped White get the care she so desperately needed, maybe none of this would have happened. White appears to be another tragic example of a mentally ill individual who slipped through the cracks. And indeed, an opportunity to save her (and her husband) was lost. The day before she killed her him, White went to a friend for help and what she said clearly communicated that she had lost touch with reality. She had suffered a true psychological breakdown, a diagnosis you could make without a medical degree. According to the Delaware County Times:
On the day before she allegedly killed her husband, Maria Reyes White drove to a friend’s house to express her concern that the Chinese government was engaged in a devious plot to infect the minds of American citizens and turn them into mass murderers.
It is through computers, Reyes told her friend, that the Chinese are sending psychic messages to get Americans to hurt children.
As Reyes ranted on about the plot, the friend quickly realized the sweet-natured, kid-loving mother-of-two had lost her mind. She was delusional and paranoid. She believed a bomb had been placed in her car. She believed she had predicted the attack on 9/11 and that another terrible attack was imminent. She believed the Chinese had gotten to Adam Lanza in Newtown, Conn., and convinced him to go on his shooting spree. She believed she was being followed.White's husband Matt picked up his wife at her friend's home and took her to a crisis care unit where she was deemed not a danger to herself or others. That same night, she took his life.
While this case, like the seemingly endless violent tragedies that have come before it, demands a conversation about mental healthcare in this country, I need to say something about the effect it has on those of us who have personally experienced mental illness. Though I have struggled "only" with depression, I have to wonder what could be hidden inside of me. Inside any of us. I'm sure those who knew her could not have imagined White saying what she said or doing what she did. She was a kind, gentle and quiet schoolteacher. Someone who functioned like the rest of us, going to work every day and raising her now college-age children. What occurs in someone's brain that could transform them so dramatically. And, if it happened to her, could it happen to me? And if my circle of family and friends noticed a change in me, would our healthcare system do its part?
These are questions that can keep you up at night, so if I seem a little tired lately, please forgive me.
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