I'm Getting Queasy on this Emotional Rollercoaster

There have been teenager sightings in my home recently. (And they don't all have long hair and play ice hockey.) I realize I'm quite lucky that it took a couple years for the behavior of a certain someone to catch up to his age, but unfortunately, I did not use that extra time to effectively prepare. Perhaps more disconcerting than the increasing tendency to mope, mumble, and spread misery, or anger easily and rage over Xbox FIFA team performance, is the equal likelihood that within a matter of minutes hours this person will revert back to his funny, charming self. And like all men, once he's back to normal, there will be no indication or acknowledgement that he had embodied Mr. Hyde just moments before. And I thought I my personality was erratic.

While I haven't figured out the best way to react to the Hyde episodes in my teen's life, I have read enough to know that all this craziness is apparently quite normal. I also know:

1. Asking what's wrong will either be a waste of time or a sure-fire way to frustrate your teen when in all honesty he doesn't know exactly what's wrong...other than everything
2. As hard as it is, you can't take your child's behavior personally. Even though you may have contributed to his rotten mood when you forbade him to play any computer games after he failed to put away his clean laundry again, this mood isn't all your fault.
3. When this person formally known as your little boy returns to his pleasant Dr. Jekyll status, do not ask "What the hell is going on with you? It's like you're Jekyll and Hyde and the roller coaster ride I'm on with you is making me nauseous." Nope. Don't say that. Just enjoy what most likely will be only a brief return to sanity normalcy.
4. If your teen has not been particularly successful in his latest competitive endeavor, do not pull out your trophies for the same activity and show him how great you were. This will not cheer him up.
5. While at one time it might have been amusing for you to embarrass him in front of his friends, once the serious instability begins, it's best to avoid doing anything that could set him off. Like write a blog post about him, for instance.

All despair, confusion, and frustration kidding aside, the toughest part of seeing the true teenager emerge from your child is the helplessness you feel while you stand by and watch. You get it. You've been there. And unfortunately, there's little you can do to make it all better. In fact, just trying to make it all better could result in your demon spawn teen telling you to leave him the hell alone suggesting this is something he will have to handle on his own. And sometimes, he's right. The boy-girl stuff, strained friendships, the challenge of schoolwork, and the demands of extra-curriculars are issues he will need to experience and struggle through in order to grow. But sometimes the sadness or anger comes from a place where he can't and shouldn't have to navigate it all on his own. 

The past year has made me realize that the after-school specials of our youth weren't based on someone's imagination. I might have been blissfully unaware of the struggles some of my classmates experienced when I was in high school, but now I've learned first hand that this stuff happens.Teens in our community deal with bullying, eating disorders, and mental illness. And that's on top of the challenges of divorced parents, the pressure to succeed, and the standard navigation through issues of drinking, drugs, and sexual behavior. You couldn't pay me to go back there. 

While no one would ever accuse me of being Mother of the Year, I think I'm doing a few things right as I help the precious not-so-little split-personality boy in my life. You may want to take my lead:

1. Ask if he'd like to hear your advice, suggestions or insights before you offer them. Believe it or not, once in a great while he'll answer "yes."
2. Share some horribly embarrassing story from your own teen years to make him feel better about his own. 
3. Offer a hug, but only when out of site of everyone he knows.
4. Allow him to read the 10+ years worth of journals that you started when you were 12 so he'll know exactly from whom he inherited his emotional instability
5. Let him scream at the television or video game, but pull the plug when it sounds as though his head might explode and/or he starts to throw things.
6. Suggest he put his feelings into a poem which he might want to share at the coffee shop the next time Mr. Mendell's class gathers for poetry night.
7. Guilt him back into Dr. Jekyll form by crying and asking where your sweet, loving child has gone.
8. Tell him he'd better square his sh*t away or you'll write a blog post about him.
9. Direct him to take all his drama to the community theater.
10. Remind him for the umpteenth time that you love him and that you're there for him if and when he wants to talk.

I think #10 might be the best advice you'll ever get from me. I better stop there.

If you have anything to add, would love to hear it!