Homeward Bound

Our Québécois exchange student Jess, also known as the beautiful, long-haired ice hockey player, has been living with us since mid-January. She arrived in Pennsylvania in August and spent the first half of the year with another family in our school district. She was supposed to be with us until after graduation in June. She's leaving next Friday.

I know I could have done better by Jess. I could have cooked her more meals. Or meals that tasted good. Or real meals with all four food groups. Meals that were healthy. She pretty much lived on cereal (the healthy kind) and celery which made her easy to shop for and quite self-sufficient.

Perhaps she's leaving because I mentioned her unmentionables in the only other blog post in which I referred to her.

I know Jess has been bored out of her mind. What chance did she have when she got stuck in the Philly suburbs with a traditional family with 2.5 kids and a cat? Which she was allergic to. The cat. Not the family. Her first choice for an exchange country was Australia. But hey, the U.S. is radically different from Canada, so she was bound to have a culturally enriching experience here. Not so much.

I should have taken her more places locally. And not gotten lost along the way as I seemed to do every time she needed a ride somewhere. Damn that Ice Works is hard to find. And don't get me started on finding my way in Berwyn.

The only thing Jess thinks she's gained by being here is weight. I see nothing but a head-turning young woman, but she sees fat. Despite only eating celery and cereal. I thought body issues were an American thing.

Maybe Jess wants to leave because my house is always cold. But I did buy her a space heater. And a scarf.

It could be she's had enough of us because we never let her win at board games. We only played games involving words. English words and their meaning. We knew she didn't have a prayer of competing thought that would help her learn the language. The tears should have been an indication that we were taking the competition lesson a bit too far.

Maybe Jess is leaving because she needs a drink. Living at my house does encourage drinking. For one thing it keeps you warm, and of course it also helps keep you sane. And Jess did turn 18 a few weeks ago, which is the legal drinking age in Canada.

Jess also mentioned that we're too strict. I think she meant Americans in general. And I don't think she meant strict so much as "uptight." In Canada it's perfectly acceptable to sleep at your boyfriend's house. As a teenager. In his bed. With your parents' knowledge. As she pointed out, in America kids are doing the same thing, but they're doing it in the backseat of cars instead. She mentioned that our issues could be a reflection of how religious we all are in this country. I assured her it was just a fluke that she ended up with two church-going Christian families. She could have lived with any number of hell-bound less uptight folks in our area.

Jess didn't enjoy school either. She graduated in Canada last year so none of what's she doing in our high school counts for anything at all. (Not only are Canadians less strict, but they require one year less schooling. We're hard asses in the States.) She's picked up enough of the language to converse comfortably in English. That was her goal.

She's outta here.

Abby, my 12-year-old, is sad. She enjoyed having a big sister (not something my sister would have ever said) and feels cheated out of the time we were supposed to spend with Jess. In fact, Abby is so disappointed that she, my stoic one, actually cried. And that may be the only good thing that's come from this. Not that Abby cried, exactly, but that she needed me when she did.

It was a nighttime cry. I was sleeping in Ian's bed because he was at a friend's house and Rob was snoring. Abby came into the bedroom with her tears and sadness and she laid down with me and cried until she fell asleep. I'm afraid that might be one of the last times I get to sleep with my baby, arms around her, close to me. It's funny how when they're infants and toddlers most of us want to leave home and get our own apartment are frustrated having them in our beds, but now, when she's 12, I want nothing more than to hold her like I did when she was three and to keep her safe forever and ever. Oh, but I suppose I'm wandering into a whole other blog topic here.

CLASSIFIEDS

ROOM for RENT: Nice size room painted a cheery yellow available for immediate occupancy. Lovely hard wood floors. Tenant must tolerate indecent exposure as there are no drapes on the windows. Furniture includes a lovely twin bed, nice-size corner unit desk, dresser, handcrafted wooden children's table built my dad, and a shredder. Plenty of closet space. Attached bathroom offers original pink 1950s tiles, though shower stall has been updated. Toilet works. Sink does not. Electrical outlet unsafe and use is not recommended unless a waiver is signed first. Must enjoy cold temperatures and cats.