A Timeshare Idiot's Adventures in Vacation Planning

I'm pretty sure that planning a vacation should not be on my fairly long list of parental/family obligations that I dislike. This puts what should be an enjoyable activity in the company of cooking, helping children with their homework and arts and crafts. I think I have a couple things working against me when it comes to family vacations:

1. The family 
2. My damn cheapness thriftiness
3. The freakin' time share we bought years ago

Numbers two and three go together. See, once you buy a timeshare, you feel the need to get your money's worth out of it. This means that you need to use your property or exchange it for another location, and there's never one in the place you really want to vacation. Nor is there one in driving distance. And no, Atlantic City and the Poconos do not count. And forget trying to find a two-bedroom property even though that's what you own. In Orlando. With 80% of all the other foolish timeshare owners in the world. I confess that this is just another example of what happens when you don't listen to your father. The guy who despised the notion of timeshares since you were a little kid. The guy who would occasionally check out a property for the free toaster, and would happily punch the salesman in the nose if he didn't take no for an answer and give him the freakin' toaster at the end of the high pressure presentation. (He didn't really punch anyone in the nose. As far as I know.) Dad knew better than to commit to something like a couple bedrooms at a resort in Florida for the rest of your freakin' life. Yes, even if you're an adult, married with children, your father still knows best.

While we can exchange our week for reward points every other year (we own a Starwood property), 2013 required us to use our week. A use it or lose it situation. With two kids in school and a husband whose summer is half booked with Phillies games, our choices were limited, to say the least. Nothing besides the Poconos and Atlantic City in driving distance. Several options in desert climates. We did that a few years ago. Palm Springs, CA in July. 107 degrees. But it was a dry heat. Like sticking your head in an oven. Good times. The only other option? Ski resort towns. Hence last year's visit to Lake Tahoe. Lake Tahoe, however, was a winner, so guess what we decided on for this summer?

Breckenridge, Colorado.

I did my research. Everything I read said it's lovely there in the summer. Likely to be an identical experience to Tahoe. Bike riding, hiking, horseback riding, whitewater rafting. High altitude sickness. We turn into outdoorsy folks on these trips. And the added bonus? We'd be within 90 minutes of Castle Rock, CO, home to the world's most adorable nephew. My sister and brother-in-law are there too, but I wasn't going to let that stop me. We found reasonable airfare and a three-bedroom resort, and I booked it. Whew. One more thing off my to do list. Next up, window washing.

Yesterday I told the kids of our plans. My ungrateful bastards lovely children asked why we can't go somewhere we haven't been before. Though we've never been to Breckenridge, apparently having gone anywhere in the state before qualifies as having been "there." I heard "Why can't we go to the Bahamas with Noah's and Maddie's families?" "What about Mexico?" "I thought we were going to California?" I responded with "It's too expensive." "It's too expensive." "The flights were too expensive." For good measure I added, "You know there was a little trip to Italy earlier this year. And then there's your pastry camp, Abby. And Girl Scout camp. And Ian's leadership camp, which, I know, I recommended. And sessions with a personal trainer. Oh, and you want private voice lessons. And maybe an acting camp would be nice, too."

Generally, my children are not ungrateful bastards, but this is one of those unpleasant side effects of living in a nice community where everyone seems to take amazing vacations and some even take limos to the airport. And when they're not vacationing in Hawaii or the Caribbean, they kids are headed to some camp that costs more than my freakin' timeshare. I end up having to guilt my kids into appreciating what they have. "When I was a kid I went to Disney World once and every other summer was spent at the Jersey shore and we loved it. So pipe down, kid, or you can spend your vacation in your bedroom. Without the computer."

Talk about your first world problems.

Before I wrap this up, have I mentioned there's a two-bedroom Sheraton resort property in Orlando that's available for a steal? It's like brand new. The current owners have never used it. Let me know if you're interested.