Good News: We're Going to Work Together on This!

Nothing strikes fear into men, women and children like the prospect of a "group project." Has anyone of above average intelligence with a decent work ethic ever been psyched to hear those two words? As children, we learn early on in our education, that "group project" is code for a dysfunctional team approach that leaves everyone unhappy except for the biggest slacker. Schools torture students with group projects throughout their elementary, middle and high school years, to prepare them for more of the same in college. In college, group assignments are intended to reflect "the real world" in which working well in teams is vital to a company's success. Once we arrive in the working world, we lie to our employers when we state in our cover letter that we're "team players." Of course, there is the possibility that I'm the odd man out on this and the rest of you crave such project-based camaraderie, but my sense is that I'm not alone in preferring a stroll over hot coals to working on a team.

It's quite likely that it's the Type As among you who are nodding your heads in agreement while enduring flashbacks of evenings spent redoing a member's contribution to the "group" project. Type As want nothing more than to finish the work efficiently, correctly and without other humans mucking things up. Type As want control and that's exactly what's lacking when the assignment calls for teamwork. Even when you respect your group members and, in general, find them to be competent human beings, you're still likely to mutter, "I'd rather do it myself."

In the past year, I have been reminded several times of the evil that is group projects. I experienced sympathy pains when my colleague Kelly announced that she was working on such an assignment in one of her MBA courses. On another occasion I met with a fairly large group of school parents who are going to work together to put on a successful fundraising event. This "project" revealed an interesting dynamic that I would title "The Swarthmore Syndrome." The way it works is that all the parents from Swarthmore know best. 'Nuff said.

Perhaps the pinnacle of my personal group-based experiences, however, have been two years worth of committee and sessions meetings at church where the unfortunate among us were called into service to re-envision and rebuild our fellowship. I love my church family dearly, but putting Christians together in groups leads to the longest, most drawn out processes ever, accompanied by hushed side conversations, overcommittment by 20% of the frozen chosen, discussions ad nauseam, a great deal of private grumbling, and a lot of public prayer. I think the only thing that could make the experience bearable would be providing adult beverages during meetings, but that would be in violation of the new drug and alcohol policy.

Lest we let the workplace off the group project hot seat, I'd have to say that this is where you're going to find the widest range of so-called team contributors. I suppose this is a result of the salary element. Now, you might think that a paycheck would make a noticeably positive difference in teamwork participation, but based on my personal experiences of the past twenty years, you would be mistaken. In fact, to help those of you are just now entering the workforce, I've created this simple guide to identifying those you may encounter on your team:

• The Naysayer: It can’t be done. 
• The Boxer: Don’t ask me to think outside of it.
• The Historian: That’s not the way we’ve done it in the past.
• The Soother: Don’t worry about it being perfect, no one gets fired here.
• The Amnesiac:  If we just ignore it, the boss soon will forget he even gave us the project.
• The Suck Up: Quick to volunteer, less quick to work, quick to offer to present it to the boss.
• The Millennial: Assigned to task, encounters first obstacle, commences whining.
• The Thrill Seeker: It won't take long. We'll get around to it.  
• The Meet-aholic: Let's meet to discuss next steps, again. I'll bring donuts.
• The Bucker: It’s not my job.
• The Pre-Retiree: Been there, done that. It is what it is. 
• The Once and Done: I tried. It didn’t work. Oh well.
• The Know-it-All: Type A without social skills.
• The Fantasizer: Let's try to run a six-month television ad campaign with the $200 in our marketing budget.
• Frankie Goes to Hollywood (a.k.a.: "Relax, Don't Do It"): There’s always tomorrow. I’m heading home. I've had enough for today. 

And then there's my personal favorite:

• The Dismisser: The beyond-ballsy colleague who simply declines when presented with an "opportunity" to take on a new project. 

A colleague and friend of mine (someone whom I'm delighted to work with), sent me this helpful venn diagram. Please refer to it the next time you're asked to lead a team. You'll save yourself a good deal of pain and may actually find you enjoy the group project experience!

But I Want (You to Want) It Now!

It only took me about five years of marriage to realize that I had absolutely no chance of ever controlling my husband. Nagging, complaining and demanding gets me nothing except a pissed off man. In fact, he told me early on in our relationship that he doesn't like to be "should upon." Got it. Of course he would tell you that I occasionally slip up and try to make a helpful suggestion.

Given that I exert no influence over my husband, it was only natural that I should want children so that I could control someone something in my life. "And that turned out really well," she said sarcastically. I've learned to accept that my children and I don't like the same music, clothes or degree of cleanliness in our bedrooms, and I'm even becoming accustomed to the way they completely ignore my demands requests. The one thing that still gets my panties in a twist, however, is the frustrating difference between "mom time" and "teen time" when it comes to getting somewhere or getting things done.

One of my children is a lot like me, exhibiting those desirable Type A traits and taking care of business on a daily basis. My other child is not quite as neurotic, high strung, obsessive driven. This didn't matter as much when that child was younger and it was okay for me to manage his/her life, but now, as a teenager, it's time for me to step away and let him/her take care of those things which are most definitely in his/her control. Examples include finding a summer job, pursuing areas of interest, choosing colleges to visit over spring break, and applying for special programs /opportunities that are awaiting smart kids like him/her.

Let's just say we do not express the same manic tendency level of enthusiasm for completing tasks. I'm not even sure if this child has a to do list. Dear God, how does one function in this world without a to do list? My child's slower pace is maddening for a formerly geeky girl like me who finished every term paper ahead of schedule and does a happy dance every time she accomplishes something.

Just last night while together with friends, I went on and on about casually mentioned my frustration with what I perceive to be a lack of initiative on the part of this child. Case in point. Said child is very interested (he/she doesn't fake it when he/she is not interested) in attending a summer program at one of my alma maters, yet, with a deadline looming (May 1!) said child still had not started the application. The past rainy, dreary weekend had been the perfect time to accomplish such an assignment. I believe I may have casually mentioned this to my child, but alas he/she did not see the same obvious opportunity that I did. Clearly he/she was never going to take care of this and the deadline was going to pass, and I was just going to have to be okay with that because it's time for him/her to take responsibility.

My friends listened sympathetically. We drank margaritas.

Upon returning home - in a much better mood than when I left - my child asked me to digitally sign his/her application for the summer program. Which he/she had completed while I was out bitching seeking guidance from fellow moms.

Ah yes, another classic parenting moment and an important reminder that just because my children don't do things my way or as quickly as I would like, doesn't mean they're doing them wrong. Of course doing it my way is always preferable and is more likely to result in success in life (and extremely high stress levels), but it's okay to let my kids be who they are. Remind me about this next year when it's time for said child to start preparing for SATs...

Reaping Your Rewards?

Our gene pools provide us with all kinds of personality traits. On the downside, my family tree has provided me with a healthy dose of crazy. On the upside, I was also bestowed with an above average work ethic. Sometimes this hides the crazy (i.e. at work), other times it reveals the crazy (i.e. at home). Just ask my kids.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who, like me, works for a large non-profit (albeit not a university). She expressed her frustration with a situation in which a coworker would have had to go above and beyond to take care of a time-sensitive project. Only a couple small steps were required to make sure the project was satisfactorily completed, but rather than take those steps, this coworker offered a (technically legitimate) reason why it couldn't be handled, and wrote it off. This led to my friend -- who shares my stubborn, hard-working Pennsylvania Dutch heritage -- having to trek through snow and ice, literally climbing over downed tree limbs, to get to her office and complete the mission. She, too, could have given her boss a legitimate reason for why the project wasn't going to be completed in time, but instead she made it happen.

Her experience made me think about some of the challenges in working for a non-profit. While those of us who pursue this career path recognize that we're never going to get rich (though I must state for the record that I feel more than fairly paid), the one thing we hope for is recognition for a job well done. Or even a raise based on performance. Yes, I said it! Imagine if your work determined your reward. It's such an old-fashioned concept. Because I've worked for non-profits for the past 12+ years, I haven't experienced this approach to employee compensation. In fact, this same friend noted that, after years with her organization, it was clear that whether your job performance was exemplary or average, everyone got the same annual cost of living increase. Granted, "non-profit" often translates into "no money," but I would argue that one whose performance is above-and-beyond should warrant, for example, a 4% raise, whereas a coworker who turns down every opportunity to take on more responsibility should only get 2%. That way we're still averaging out to that dismal 3% overall.

I had a conversation on this topic with my sister who works for a global health services corporation. She mentioned how she still calls home when she receives a great performance evaluation (even at our age we're still seeking our parents' approval). While I, too, tell mom and dad when something nice happens at work, my sister's evaluation means something substantially different than mine. For her, a superior review equals a bonus that's worth about 50% of my salary, as well as a raise for the new year. Again, I made a conscious choice to work in this world, and I would never survive in hers, but still, the financial differences, based on job performance, definitely sting a bit.

In light of this reality, I'm wondering if it still makes sense to work your ass off demonstrate an exemplary work ethic. At what point does this kind of employee succumb to thinking that "It makes no difference how hard I work, so I will no longer go above and beyond, giving up my personal time to get the job done." I have friends who are fiercely protective of their time away from the office. They refuse to check email, answer their phone, or schedule an important 30 minute conversation with a client if it needs to take place when they're "off the clock." I'm completely incapable of cutting myself off from my employer regardless of the time or day, but perhaps those individuals are the smart ones.

I think this approach to employee compensation, where everyone is treated equally, reflects one of the major problems with our society today. If we give people no reason to try harder, work harder, take pride in their work, or go above and beyond, why should they? If unemployment or welfare pay better than minimum wage, why bother pulling yourself up by your proverbial bootstraps and taking a low paying job? Whether you're with a large corporation, a medium-sized non-profit, or a small mom and pop business, if you've learned that your performance provides little reward, how long will you continue to give it your all? For some of us that work ethic is so ingrained, that we can't imagine ever giving less than 100%, but it certainly makes you think (and obviously harbor some degree of resentment).

I know Christians are supposed to take comfort in our reward being in heaven, but the parable of the workers in the vineyard (Matthew 20: 1-16), in which everyone is paid the same regardless of how long they work, just doesn't provide much comfort in today's secular world.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one.