Monday, May 3, 2010

Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Recently I've made (or been affected by) a number of mistakes that I want to share with you as a public service. There is plenty of practical everyday advice that we're all familiar with, thanks to our mothers. Mine is a bit more obscure, but I believe equally important:

  • Don't apply eye drops while driving
  • Don't use hand cream while driving
  • Don't read a book while sitting in close proximity to little league players practicing their throwing and catching (or lack thereof). Even baseballs thrown at 10 mph sting a little when they hit you (twice).
  • Always check for holes at the bottom of the plastic bag before using it to pick up dog poop
  • Don't sit down and watch television while ignoring a pile of dog poop in front of you (because your mother will go ballistic)
  • Don't allow your kids to use your ipod when you have the Violent Femmes "Add it Up" among your song selections
  • Don't read a book on your recliner while your wife vacuums under your feet (because your wife will go ballistic)
  • Don't fall asleep on a bus while drinking a 16 oz cup of tea in a flimsy to-go cup
  • Don't confess to not following basketball when an intelligent fellow mom who also happens to be a journalist references the Baltimore Sun
  • Don't loudly use the word "Hell" when you work in a Christian organization
That's all for now. Undoubtedly there will be a Part 2 to this one in the not-to-distant future. Meanwhile, feel free to share advice based on what you may have recently learned the hard way!

4 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

mmm explain to me just WHY you would be watching TV with a pile of dog poop in front of you? did your dog poop in the house, or do you have a TV outside?

A "Freakin' Angel" said...

My dog pees and poops in the basement if we leave him alone. My son decided to ignore the poop and sat down and watched television with it sitting there in front of him. And he didn't bother to tell me it was there. I found him and the stink together!

Mark said...

Where is it ok to read while your are vacuuming?

Mary Ellen said...

Kids!