Lessons Learned the Hard Way

Recently I've made (or been affected by) a number of mistakes that I want to share with you as a public service. There is plenty of practical everyday advice that we're all familiar with, thanks to our mothers. Mine is a bit more obscure, but I believe equally important:

• Don't apply eye drops while driving
• Don't use hand cream while driving
• Don't read a book while sitting in close proximity to little league players practicing their throwing and catching (or lack thereof). Even baseballs thrown at 10 mph sting a little when they hit you (twice).
• Always check for holes at the bottom of the plastic bag before using it to pick up dog poop
• Don't sit down and watch television while ignoring a pile of dog poop in front of you (because your mother will go ballistic)
• Don't allow your kids to use your ipod when you have the Violent Femmes "Add it Up" among your song selections
• Don't read a book on your recliner while your wife vacuums under your feet (because your wife will go ballistic)
• Don't fall asleep on a bus while drinking a 16 oz cup of tea in a flimsy to-go cup
• Don't confess to not following basketball when an intelligent fellow mom who also happens to be a journalist references the Baltimore Sun
• Don't loudly use the word "Hell" when you work in a Christian organization

That's all for now. Undoubtedly there will be a Part 2 to this one in the not-to-distant future. Meanwhile, feel free to share advice based on what you may have recently learned the hard way!