Party On...and Next Year, Off-Site

We almost missed it altogether. Another birthday. Another party. Ian was turning twelve, and with just a week to go, we hadn't planned anything for him. In a moment of brilliance I suggested a camp out in the backyard. We've got the perfect yard for it, including the fire pit, and I figured a group of 12-year-olds were prepared to sleep outside without parental supervision. Of course, I also considered that this wonderful plan would keep them out of my house.

Naturally, Mother Nature didn't cooperate. She turned up the wind machines, dropped the temperature 15 degrees, and the boys ended up on the floor of my newly redecorated living room, the only inhabitable room in the house.

If you've never been the mom of a 12-year-old, let me tell you what to expect at the party:

• The occasional swear word (when they assumed no adult was within hearing range)
• The sulker. The one kid who didn't want to do what the rest of the group was doing (He went off and played on the computer by himself.)
• Intense Nerf gun battles
• A refusal to go to sleep at a reasonable hour because, "We're 12, mom!!!"
• A wake-up call at an ungodly hour. When six 12-year-olds are up, you're up.

[Early on in the evening I remembered distinctly that I swore last year that I would stop having the kids' birthday parties at our house. Damn my 40-year-old memory!]

The most interesting part of the festivities revolved around food. Some highlights:

• The vegetarian who announced at breakfast that bacon has many death-hastening qualities.
• The kid who was never hungry. No dinner. No cake. No breakfast. 
• The smart-ass who requested I try not to burn his next hot dog, since the first one was inedible. "Look, Ian! This one isn't shriveled to less than three times its original size!"
• The kid who boasted that he had eaten horse and whale meat (note to self, don't dine at his house)

The best part of the evening, next to the drinks with Ian's friend's parents, was that I'd left my computer on and was able to immediately set my reminder for April 12, 2011.  The date on which I will reserve a restaurant, arcade, or paintball field for Ian's next birthday party.