Tuesday, August 17, 2010

How Ian Sees It

Dear Freakin' Angel readers, this is the first in what will be monthly posts by my son Ian, age 12. Since Ian is frequently the subject of my writing, I think it's fair that he should have his say (but no more than once a month). He also happens to be pretty damn funny. Enjoy "How Ian Sees It." 

Hello friends, enemies (you know who you are), and random people from Kansas, and welcome to my mom’s blog. This is How Ian Sees It, the monthly blog post debating the world’s MOST IMPORTANT ISSUES. For my first post I’m going to talk about cell phones. An absolute necessity for everyone who doesn’t want to get beat up. I just got mine which is good and bad.

It’s great because, well, it’s a cell phone. I can’t explain it any more than that. You can do anything with a cell phone. The bad side is that now I can’t bug my parents about how they should get their phones implanted in their side because I barely put mine down. Another problem is that whenever I go anywhere my mom will be expecting me to text her every twenty minutes.

The absolute worst problem is that I have to be careful not to let THE BOSS see it. My mom just wanted me to have a phone that could call in case of emergencies. She wanted my dad to get me one of those plastic phones in the scholastic magazine instead of a phone that has a camera, a slide out QWERTY keyboard, and unlimited texting.

My mom isn’t big on spending money. For example, since Abby is the favorite, she gets to eat at the table while I get the leftovers thrown at me. For those of you who are new, I live on a chain in the basement. If my mom doesn’t “forget” to feed me, I MIGHT get food. See, the rats have the advantage in numbers, so they get most of the food, while I get a crumb or two. But that’s another post.

Now, my mom is going crazy about the phone bill, while my dad says my phone is the most practical phone for my age. I’m just going to stay in my basement corner and see how this one plays out. Sorry, I have to go. It’s feeding time and if I don’t beat the rats I may end up with no food.

4 comments:

bunsen said...

Kim, you need to let Ian out more often. Glad we can get some real insightful comments on this blog. Just kidding, but think it is a cool idea to let him try his hand at this. Does Abby go next week?

Emily said...

Thanks Ian for the insight. I realize that we have been way too harsh to you when you come to visit - you know feeding you at the table and all. I didnt realize how much you enjoyed the basement. Next time we will try to make you feel more at home.

Alison MacPherson Perry said...

To my Darling Nephew Ian...One point to debate, Abby being the favorite...you are mentioned more frequently than your sister in your Mom's blog so I can tell that she thinks of you often. And if your parents didn't care, they wouldn't have gotten you the prized cell phone so they could make sure that you were safe. Just count your blessing and don't tell your cousins that you have unlimited texting or you'll be eating in the basement at my house too!! All my love, Aunt Alison

Jordan Emory Perry said...

have fun with the texting and be happy you have no limit because i know all too well how a limit is very easy to go over
love ya bud!!
~jordan