Get Used to It, Kid. "Life's Not Fair."

Ah, those three little words. You would have thought I'd have outgrown them by now, but alas, no. I'm still stuck on the concept. And yes, we are talking about me, and not my children.

For the most part, I've learned to accept that life, in the overall scheme of things, is not fair. It rains on your vacation. Friends move away. You lose your job because of the economy. The mean girl gets the cute boy. Bad things happen to good people. But those unfair things seem to be driven by the winds of chance and fate. The unfair things I continue to struggle with are man-made, and competition seems to be at the root of many (if not most) of them.

This weekend Abby's soccer team participated in a tournament in Cape May, NJ. The girls played their hearts out but still lost all three games. Losing is fine and part of life and I totally get that. But I can't tolerate unfair play. I don't believe in elbowing, tripping, or running someone down in the name of competition. And while these illegal actions may not have changed the outcome of the games, they are still unfair.

I've also found martial arts competitions to be inherently unfair. Five-plus years ago as a wee yellow belt who overestimated her abilities, I competed in a tournament in Atlantic City. I competed in forms with the one I'd been practicing for months, the one that was appropriate for my belt level. What I learned in AC is that no one else bothered to stick with what was belt level appropriate even though that's what the rules called for. The other competitors did forms that were much more sophisticated and challenging and that made me look like the underling that I was. Unfair. Competing in sparring is even more unfair than forms. You can land the punch or the kick and have half the judges see it and the other half give the point to your opponent. Human beings are fallible that way. But in competition it seems unfair.

I thought the Phils were unfair in Game 2 of the NLDS. Yes, you read that right. I'm a die hard Phillies fan and I love my team, but I hate winning if it's not 100% deserved. There was a questionable "safe" call at second base, and prior to that, Chase Utlely took first and ultimately scored after pretending to be hit by a pitch. He basically admitted later that he hadn't been hit and now I'm  wondering when athletes started taking acting classes along with batting practice. I realize I sound naive but I'd like to keep on my rose-colored glasses and ask that everyone be ethical and honest, professional athletes included (we won't get started on the topic of steroids here). I won't tolerate my kids' cheating in a board game, so why would I think winning at any cost is okay in the major leagues? Unethical and unfair.

Yes, this is a snively, sad, unrealistic look at the reality of competition. I know the responses I'm going to get on this one, including:

• Professional sports are as much about business as they are about athletic ability. One does need to win at any cost.
• It all comes out in the wash. Sometimes the calls work for you, sometimes against you.
• Those who play unfairly will eventually get their just deserts.
• This has been going on forever. You're just noticing now?

I get it; really, I do. But I can still whine about it being unfair. And I can also admit that my thinking here is a strong indicator of why I have never been and never will be much of a competitor in sports, business, politics, etc. I just don't have it in me to bend the rules to get ahead. But I can sleep at night because I play fair.