Random Musings, 3rd Edition

While I travel to Castle Rock, Colorado today to visit the cutest nephew in the whole wide world (oh, and my sister, too), I leave you with this third edition of Random Musings...

• I dislike geese but I admire their chutzpah.
• Despite being an intelligent woman, I'm a complete sucker for formulaic chick flicks. Why is that?
• Women of a certain age should not wear mid-thigh length skirts, regardless of how tremendous their legs are. It makes me feel bad. (Heidi Klum, this means you.) 
• I just assume that anyone with tinted car windows is up to no good.
• As we continue to enjoy baseball in the post season, does anyone else think it's mean that they call some batters "the A-hole hitter?" 
• I find it strange that men freak out about losing their hair, but seem just fine with their beer bellies. 
• Am I the only one who thinks that if I put just one butt cheek on the public bathroom toilet seat I won't catch anything? Both cheeks is a recipe for disaster, but somehow just one feels safe.
• And speaking of toilets, cheap toilet paper really doesn't save you money. If you have to use 3x as much so as not to get anything on your fingers when you wipe, then you'd have been better off with the good stuff. And it's softer, too. And no, I was not compensated for this ad for Charmin.
• It happens to all women, generally once or twice a year, and it's not pleasant. It's the moment you realize you have "absolutely nothing to wear." 
• And finally, if you are in the business of marketing female hygiene products, you should know that nothing about our periods is cute. Real women do not require "cute" tampons in a showdown with Mother Nature. If you don't know what I'm referring to, watch this little ditty and weep for all of womankind.