Thursday, July 7, 2011

Hot Blond Seeks Hunky Man for Walks on Beach

So this wedding thing from last weekend has me thinking about marriage. My feelings about this institution depend on the day and whether Rob has helped around the house, tried to do home improvements, or yelled at the kids on my behalf. The good news is that if I were to decide I'd get married again, I'd marry the same guy. Love ya, honey!

Thinking about being single, however, (just hypothetically, of course) I believe I'd be totally into those online dating sites like match.com and eharmony. I know folks who've found true love, even marriage that way! I also like filling out forms and taking personality quizzes. They're all about me, and I appreciate that. Rob and I recently saw a commercial for one of those sites and I suggested we both sign up and see if they would match us based on our profiles. I'm not sure he's game, but in the interest of a fun blog post, I thought I'd draft my profile and then have you do the same. Hey, we're going interactive today!

Kim, age 41, Wallingford, PA

Kim, age 41
Intelligent, sarcastic, reasonably attractive woman seeks intelligent, witty, down-to-earth man age 30-45 for long-term relationship. Must be kind, a good speller, and physically active/fit to defend against my superior black belt skills in case you piss me off. Ideally seeking a Protestant church-going Christian. I enjoy the shore, boating, movies, books, baseball and football, and writing. Interested? Respond with your age, a writing sample, the title of the last book you read, and a recent photo. Smokers, drug users, heavy drinkers need not apply.

Okay, now you try it. We'll do this like a Mad Lib:

[adjective], [adjective], [adjective describing physical attractiveness], [gender] seeks [adjective], [adjective], [adjective] [gender] [age range] for [length of time] relationship. Must be [adjective], [adjective or noun], [adjective or noun]. I enjoy the [activity], [hobby], [sport]. Interested? Respond with your [adjective], [noun], [noun], and a recent photo. [Icky quality], [Icky quality], [Icky quality] need not apply.

Simply copy and paste this into the comment section below or into your Facebook response, and fill in the blanks. Hey, if you're single, perhaps we can make a match; not with me, but with another Freakin' Angel reader. Good fun!

Disclaimer: Freakin' Angel author is not responsible for any matches resulting from this post.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

I recently met a woman who was matched on eHarmony with her ex-husband. She was outraged, but I thought hey, the two of you had enough in common to get married at one point, so it made sense to me.

OK, I'll bite:
Early 40s widow, somewhat-short-for-my-weight, whose last date was in 1996 seeks smart, funny male for trial relationship. Must be impossibly kind and patient. I enjoy travel, cooking and yoga. Interested? Respond with a letter of recommendation from your ex-wife, photocopy of your voter registration card, the attached nine-page questionnaire completed (including essay questions) and a recent photo. Meanies, bitter people and iPhone obsessives need not apply.