Guest Selection 101

If you're like most people, the Christmas season will provide you with a fair number of opportunities to celebrate with family and friends. (Unless you're me. I have no plans. Call me.) What the hostesses with the mostesses know about entertaining is the critical importance of having the proper guest list. It's like preparing a great meal. The combination of dishes and the ingredients in those dishes can determine your meal's success. While I know nothing about preparing a great meal, I have recently given thought to the subtleties involved with guest selection.

In the best case scenario, you want to be certain your core group of friends or family members will attend the event in question. This core group is made up of those special folks whose company you will enjoy regardless of whether anyone else shows up. The Freakin' Angels are such a group. As are our less than angelic, but equally fun heathen non-church friends. You know who you are.

The importance of having this foundation in place cannot be overstated. Without it, your entire guest list becomes a gamble. Let's face it. There are folks you should consider want to invite because they are part of the larger group of friends (or they're members of your family and you don't have a choice), but whom you would not want to entertain without the core group in place. Admit it. If you've ever planned a party, you know exactly who I am referring to. These individuals tend to:

• Talk a lot. About themselves. Loudly.
• Not talk at all or fall asleep.
• Drink too much (and they're not "fun drunks").
• Overstay their welcome.
• Complain. 
• Make inappropriate jokes.
• Fail to compliment the hostess ad nauseum.
• Have children who annoy you and whom they bring to every get-together.
• Talk politics and/or theology.
• Cook better, dress better, have better hair, decorate better, and/or make more money than you.

Should you invite these folks and your core group fails to show, the entire event could be a disaster.

Another risk in event planning is the guest combination. Unless you have 75+ attendees, you may want to pay particular attention to the group dynamics. It can be risky to combine family with the work folks, the church folks, and the going-straight-to-hell folks. In the event you find your guest list to be more than a bit random, it is best to invite what I like to call the "folks without shame." These pathetic individuals will talk to complete strangers, regardless of how they look, their lineage, their career path, or their stock portfolio. While this kind of behavior is completely unacceptable to some of us, it's actually ideal for a social gathering with questionable group dynamics. I actually know a number of these individuals and would like to embarrass name them here in case you're planning a party and need to hire them.

• Cathie H.
• Shamina A.
• Dave A.
• Karen S. (aka "Mom")
• Karen H. 
• Theresa B.
• Pedro A.

I'm sure I'm missing a few, so if you feel you deserve to be on this list of desperately friendly folks, give me a call. And invite me to your next party while you're at it.

Well, I believe that covers most everything in Guest Selection 101. If you think I've missed anything, leave a comment (you know comments make my day, right?). And please, don't lose any sleep worrying about whether you're a core group person, an "I don't want to be alone with them" person, or a social butterfly. We all have our place on the social ladder of life. 

Here's hoping all your holiday festivities have just the right mix of guests. And God Bless Us Everyone!