Kindness, Affirmation, and Joy (Seriously)

Lately I've been hypersensitive. But in a good way. Suddenly I'm more acutely aware of the special people and moments in my life. It's almost a little creepy; like maybe I'm not long for this world and God is saying "Wake up and pay attention to the joy and kindness in the world before it's too late, dammit!" Well, maybe He doesn't say "dammit."

In case you're wondering if you're reading someone else's blog, I assure that this is the Freakin' Angel talking. I know you're not used to happy thoughts coming from me, but let's go with it. I'm sure next week I'll be my irritable and/or withdrawn self.

I think my wake up call came two Fridays ago. The same week I wrote my whiny, "I need to be shown appreciation" post. In what can only be described as another example of God's delight in messing with us, on this particular Friday, a number of kindnesses came my way. And, believe it or not, I started it.

Early that morning I exchanged emails with a Villanova professor whom I've only met once. He had reworked something I'd written for him, and my smart-ass self responded with :

I have to confess, for some reason I didn't expect engineers to be good writers, but here at VU I'm consistently proven wrong. If this engineering thing doesn't work out for you :-), you could always go into marketing or communications.

His response:

You are too kind, but thank you.  I'm the type that needs a pat on the back once in a while, so you made my day.

How awesome is that! It made my day knowing I'd made his day, and it certainly helped to know that I'm not alone in my slightly pathetic need for regular attention and recognition.

After that nice start to my Friday, a number of kindnesses came my way, all before noon:

• Freakin' Angel Kim G., knowing Ian was home sick again, offered to pick up ginger ale and saltines for him and delivered them to our door.
• In checking the mail I found a handwritten note from a fellow church member (no one I'm particularly close to) who wanted me to know she was thinking of me after learning of my aunt's leukemia diagnosis. 
• The dental hygienist said I was her best patient of the week and rewarded me with stickers and a lollipop a free teeth whitening sample. And I didn't even read anything into the teeth whitening gift. But you'd tell me if you thought my teeth were yellow, right? 

Last week's high note was a word of recognition from the Dean. He told me he'd heard from a couple others that I was doing a great job and that they liked my energy. He confirmed that they made the right decision in hiring me. Man, I needed that! Giddy like a school girl I responded with:

And then I called Rob to share the good news. You'd have thought I had just been promoted, I was so darn happy.

Now, just a few words about joy. The joy stuff came this past weekend and, oddly enough, involved my children. On Saturday, Abby celebrated her 12th birthday with a handful of friends who spent the night. Their constant laughter actually made me smile, where in the past it made me want to slap someone.  They watched Pitch Perfect and though I had found it to be only mildly amusing when I saw it in the theater, watching the movie with them suddenly made it hysterical. The whole evening was just a lovely testament to girlfriends and laughter and joy.

Sunday I attended the last performance of Grease at the high school (which they toned down quite a bit after complaints from some parents. I can't believe someone complained. Some people are such prudes.). Ian was able to participate this weekend, and watching him onstage, giving 110% to his role as a book nerd, gave me great pleasure. He was so obviously thrilled to be there, in his element (theater, not nerd-dom). After the show he looked exhausted, but in a beaming sort of way. It's immensely gratifying to see your child in a place he or she clearly belongs.

Oh, one more comment on the topic of affirmation. Even though most people don't go around crying about it like I do, I can't imagine there's anyone who doesn't appreciate recognition. Take, for instance, this recent interaction with a woman who's been cleaning my house for about a month. Last week I had left her a long list of improvements that needed to be made after I was displeased with her previous visit. I'm sure she cursed me, booby trapped my junk drawer, and stole from the cookie jar, but she did a great job based on my requests. On Friday night I texted her to say thanks and let her know how pleased I was. She actually picked up the phone and called me right back to say how much she appreciated my telling her and said she was going to share my message with her daughter who works with her.

All of this is not to show how wonderfully thoughtful I am (though I do have my moments), but rather to share the power of a kind word. In what can be a dreary, cold world (especially this miserable winter), your note of affirmation, your gift of kindness, and opening yourself to joy can provide just enough light to get you, and someone else, through another day.