A Hair-Raising Experience

Well, the drama never ends around here. And it's not even exciting drama, it's just the everyday variety. Abby's illness turned out to be strep throat so she was home yesterday for the fifth straight day in a row. When we tried to run to Wawa for a smoothie, I discovered my car battery had died. Oh, and I received a truancy notice from Ian's school because I haven't turned in notes for his last three absences. For cryin' out loud. Enough already.

Generally, when life gets rocky or just plain annoying like this, a visit to the spa or health salon can do a girl a world of good. However, in keeping with the theme for 2011-2012, my most recent visit to the "spa" was downright irritating.



The hair styling and waxing area was in a tiny room in the back...

With a $50 gift card in hand, I paid a first time visit to the Spa at the Springfield Healthplex. The Healthplex is the gym I belong to so I expected the spa there to be equally overpriced but impressive. The pricing did not disappoint, but the "impressive" sure didn't hold true. I'm not sure which I found most disturbing:

• The cramped quarters in which waxing takes place an elbow's distance from the hair styling (an area about the size of an average walk-in closet)
• The one-sided conversation with the waxologist (is there a real name for those people who rip the hair out of your body?)
• The two-timing, hairball hacking stylist who laughed at everything whether it was amusing or not

Perhaps I'm high maintenance, but I've decided that from here on out I want my stylist all to myself. My guy alternately cut, colored, and styled me and another woman at the same time, and I found it incredibly annoying. Perhaps this was due in part because I didn't particularly like who I was sharing him with. In the space of 60 minutes, I pieced together way too much of this woman's story.

• Remarried
• Dopey husband who tells stupid, grandfatherly jokes
• 10-year-old daughter; allowed to play dress up with makeup and all, but only at home
• Baby
• Shore house
• Money
• Friend's kid has ADD; emptied very large toy closet in her son's room which is normally super neat and organized
• Diet coke addict; keeps it in her car
• Thoroughly enjoys smoking so she starts again after quitting during her pregnancies

And to top it off, it was clear she and the stylist were buddies. They talked about mutual friends and planned visits to the shore together. I felt so left out. It was like being the new girl at school, sitting alone at the lunch table and overhearing the cool kids talking. I don't particularly enjoy making chit chat with my stylist (even those I've known for years), but having to listen to someone else yap for an hour is worse. Ideally I would like peace and quiet in which to thoroughly enjoy this overpriced time away from home.

After this mini soap opera during which I numbed my mind with outdated People magazines, my only prayer was that I would leave the Spa looking like a million bucks. Or at least like the amount I paid. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure I would have done just as well at the Hair Cuttery for a third of the cost.

Oh, the trials and tribulations of a suburban working mom. The fun just never ends!

P.S. I enjoyed the husband's humor:

The kids ask "what's for dinner?"
He replies, "Shut up and get in the oven."

Ha!