Sacrificial "Ma'am"

In the early days of motherhood (roughly the first ten years), I had some major issues with the new life I was living. The one that particularly stands out was the shocking realization of a previously unknown level of sacrifice. Not only had I sacrificed my body for nine-plus months, but after the little bloodsuckers dears were born I discovered I was also losing my free time, my extra cash, my career growth, my travel dreams, and practically my very identity. For many several years, I wondered what in the world I had gotten myself into. And unlike a new job that doesn't quite fit, there was no resigning from this gig.

Of all the sacrifices I made as a mother, I felt most acutely the sting of lost "personal growth" opportunities. There were many times when I bemoaned being unable to pursue my interests whenever and wherever they took me. I passed up photography classes, wilderness survival training, choral groups, flying lessons, theater auditions, pole-dancing, college courses, clown school, and everything else that struck my fancy. Instead I volunteered on the dysfunctional board of our daycare, held mundane PTO positions, and ineffectively taught Sunday school. To be perfectly honest, I resented all of these sacrifices. Inside I screamed, "Whose idea was it to have these kids What about me?"

But, as promised, the early years of childhood went by more quickly than anticipated. And while I couldn't appreciate my sacrifices back then, I am starting to see that the next several years will present opportunities even greater than those I missed. While these opportunities may not be mine personally, I am now in the position of watching and helping my children achieve, succeed, and grow. It's their turn, and surprisingly, I'm not all that bitter.

I confess, I don't love being the chauffeur, juggling schedules, shopping for duct tape and baking ingredients, or making sure the appropriate clothes, equipment, or field trip forms are in place, but I am thoroughly enjoying the bragging rights end results:

• Musical concerts and theater performances
• Academic achievements
• Healthy visits to the gym for fitness and even duathlon training
• Benefit projects for charity
• Sporting events displaying not only good skill but sportsmanship

So it's taken me roughly 13 years to accept that it's not "all about me," but as the saying goes, better late then never. And of course, it will only be a few short years before I have all the time in the world for "personal growth opportunities." But then what excuse will I use for never becoming a sherpa, broadway star, clown, or world famous exotic dancer?