Running and Riding and Swimming, Oh My!

It's a not-so-silent epidemic striking suburbia. You've undoubtedly seen them yourself, middle-aged adults running, cycling, swimming, stopping just long enough to jump in the mini-van to drop Alex off at soccer practice or have a craft brew with friends. Despite triathlons claiming the lives of many who are close to me, I have refused to succumb.

I'm not sure exactly when it started, but the call of the road and the water has grown from a whisper to a shout, ultimately leading to a pulled muscle groan. Originally, competing in these events was something you heard that a friend of a friend was doing. Then it became something your friend was training for. Then three friends. Then ten. Then your husband. While Rob's been aiming to complete his first triathlon for a couple of years now (waylaid by back surgery in 2011), until just recently I still had a few slackers friends I could count on to eat, drink, and sit around and gain weight with me:

Emily -- She completed her mandatory first triathlon a few years ago, but had suggested she was done with that nonsense had no further need to compete. Recently, however, she went and lost weight (gave up wine, damn her), has gotten back in shape, looks terrific, and has decided to run a distance relay race with a friend.

Doug -- This guy, who I imagine has never been out of shape, but who works out so he can eat like I do, is planning to run some kind of long distance race with his brother in the near future.

Theresa -- Went from primarily knitting and reading her way through life (while raising four boys), to both going back to school to become a nurse, AND adding running to the mix. She just completed a couple of 5Ks.

Dave and Karen - I'm hearing chatter about a possible race in the future for both of them.

Then there are those who've been running and competing for years and who I avoid spending time with because they're so fit and fabulous, including Liz, Christine, Mo, Dave M., Karen, Kevin, Christian, and the whole group known as the TriMonkeys. And just last night on Facebook I saw these status updates from friends:

"This weekend is the biggest tri I will ever complete (I'm hoping!!).  It's the 1/2 ironman/woman distance..."

"Officially signed up for the Philadelphia Marathon..."

To think I was proud to be hitting the gym two or three times a week.

Given the increasing number of friends afflicted by this athletic ambition, I've given the source of the outbreak some serious thought. I believe these factors are contributing to the madness:

1. A need to prove they "still have it." Most of those I know who are suffering from this condition are in their 40s. Competing in a triathlon is their warped response to a mid-life crisis.
2. A desire to get away from the kids. As their children become old enough to stay home alone, these parents are desperate to escape after 10+ years of captivity. Running, cycling, swimming. Whatever it takes to have some "me" time.
3. A 21st century, upper middle class response to "keeping up with the Jones." Peer pressure, plain and simple.

It's also quite possible that the whole triathlon phenomenon is a conspiracy organized by athletic shoe companies, cycle manufacturers, physical therapists, and orthaeopedic surgeons. After all, they have the most to gain.

This Father's Day, my husband will finally have that opportunity to complete his first triathlon sprint. I'm proud of him for returning to training after what was a very difficult year given his back troubles (not helped by months of recent planter facitis pain). I'm proud of the commitment he's making to his physical health. And I'm proud of the example he's setting for our kids. I'll be there to cheer him on on Sunday while relaxing in a lawn chair, enjoying a mimosa and cinnamon bun...