A Mediocre Christian

Yesterday I traveled to San Juan, Puerto Rico for the American Baptist Churches USA Biennial. Judson Press, where I work, is the publishing ministry for the denomination. This will be my fourth Biennial and while it's a great deal of work (we set up and staff the bookstore for the event), I must confess to enjoying it...and not just because it gets me out of the house and away from the kids.

What I like most about the Biennial is the opportunity to meet so many who live out their faith, not only on Sunday mornings, but each and every day. Some are in full time ministry, but others are simply dedicated Christians who take seriously the call to be the hands and feet of Christ. It's pretty easy to feel inferior when surrounded by so many "Good Christians." And, I'm even more in awe of those "Dangerous Christians" who "speak till justice wakes," who dare to make a difference through their faith and their actions.

When I think of the sacrifice, dedication, and unwavering faith of many friends, colleagues, Judson Press authors, and those whom I will hear speak and preach at events like these, I feel I should wear a name tag, introducing myself as a "Mediocre Christian."

• I go to church regularly...unless something else comes up
• I would require my children to go to church...but I'm not up for the fight
• I read the Bible...when soul searching and in need of encouragement
• I taught Sunday school...until I had to confess that there were children in my class who knew more than I did
• I taught Sunday school...until I had to confess that I don't really like connect with kids
• I pray...but I often fall asleep before I finish
• I pray...but I wonder, if God knows best, are my prayers necessary or helpful?
• I claim to be a Christian...but I try to keep my faith out of my blog posts because I don't want to lose readers

My shortcomings as a Christian are top of mind these days as I marvel at the faith of three women I know. If anyone had a completely understandable excuse for being a mediocre Christian or even a skeptical one, it would be these ladies. Each of them has experienced what I would describe as Hell on Earth.

My friend Ann whom I've blogged about a couple times, is in the process of recovering from her second surgery for brain cancer in the past eight years. This follows the bone marrow transplant she required about two years ago. Yet through it all, her faith has never wavered. One mutual friend, an atheist, admitted that only Ann, her faith, and the miracle of her life causes her to even consider the possibility that there is a God.

A second friend, Cathie, finds herself in the final stages of an ugly divorce, more than two years after her husband walked out on her and their three girls, the youngest of whom was less than a month old at the time. This dedicated, stay-at-home mom is now trying to sell her home to move to one she can better afford while working on renewing her teaching certification in order to get a job to better support her family. All this is happening while her 38-year-old handicapped brother lies in the hospital, breathing with the help of a ventilator after pneumonia rendered him unable to breath a few weeks ago.

But Cathie sees nothing but goodness everywhere she looks. The phone call that comes just when she needs an encouraging word. An act of kindness by a neighbor. A tree that falls in the opposite direction from her house. She credits God's hand in all of this and has never uttered "Why me?" or expressed the anger that most of us would rightly feel.

Then there's Janet Perez Eckles, a new Judson Press author. Janet came to this country from Bolivia, got a college education, married, had three boys. And then at age 32 she lost her eyesight completely. And suffered financial devastation. And endured her husband's infidelity. And experienced the incomprehensible anguish of her youngest son's murder and the acquittal of the man responsible. But does Janet shake her fist and turn away from God and her faith? No. Instead she encourages women to kick up their heels with a book titled Simply Salsa: Dancing without Fear at God's Fiesta.

I am inspired and encouraged by these women. I strive to reach the level of faith that sustains them. And I find comfort in the knowledge that God loves me, even in my mediocrity.