Fire Up Your DVR and Get this Party Started!

Reality bites. Pets die. Backs hurt. Kids annoy. Couples fight. Clothes shrink. Computers crash. Faces wrinkle. Prayers go unanswered. For these reasons, I don't understand the appeal of reality programming. Either your reality is so blissful you need a dose of madness, or you watch that crap so you can feel better about your own life. Either way, I don't get it.

When I turn to Hollywood entertainment for my ticket out of Funkville, I look for a dreamy escape, something that will make me laugh, or sigh (a happy sigh), or simply put my brain to rest for a short period of time. I'm particularly fond of romantic comedy movies. They're the only films I routinely watch despite knowing the outcome before they start. Romantic comedies are the absolute opposite of reality.

Matt Bomer, sigh...

While rom-coms are my antidepressant of choice, given the increasing expense of movie tickets and popcorn, and the difficulty I seem to have finding friends to accompany me, I'm considering investing more of my time in television. Scripted television that has nothing to do with reality. Generally, I'm not much of a television watcher. I like Glee and White Collar (basically for that hottie Matt Bomer), and I confess to enjoying America's Next Top Model and Project Runway, but that's about it. Friends  recommend their favorite programs, but if I haven't seen a series from the beginning I can't be bothered to catch up. With a new fall television season rapidly approaching, however, I figured now would be the perfect time to set my DVR to record a bunch of crap from the vast wasteland some of the hot new shows.

Luckily, I subscribe to Entertainment Weekly (my guilty pleasure magazine) and on September 9 they came out with their Fall TV Preview issue. I did my research and came up with a top 10 list of mind candy. See what you think (these are in no particular order):

Whatever happened to Josh Lucas?

1.  Up All Night with Christina Applegate and Will Arnett is a comedy about new parents and a boss from hell. You know, on second thought, that sounds more like a reality show...
2. Hart of Dixie with Rachel Bilson is supposedly Gilmore Girls + Doc Hollywood + Sweet Home Alabama. If you throw in Josh Lucas from that Sweet Home AL movie, I'm sold! 
3. Pan Am with Christina Ricci is described as "Mad Man meets Alias in a globe-trotting soap set in the 1960s." They will not show characters smoking (unlike Mad Men) which means it's definitely not a reality show.
4. Person of Interest with Jim Caviezel creates a world where crimes can be seen before they are about to be committed.
5. Broke Girls with two no name actresses is about a tough working class girl and a born-rich but brought-low girl as waitresses in Brooklyn. According to EW, they play off each other "with odd-couple sarcasm." You had me at sarcasm.
6. Two and a Half Men with Ashton Kutcher. You had me at Ashton Kutcher. 
7. A Gifted Man with Patrick Wilson is described as "an emotional and sometimes spiritual journey." I'll give it a shot. If it gets too heavy or sad, it may get the ax.
8. Once Upon a Time with Ginnifer Goodwin is a fairy-tale drama in which a group of fairy-tale characters trapped in a Maine town are cursed into forgetting their true identities Love the premise!
9. Homeland is about a POW who returns home from Iraq as a hero, but a CIA analyst (Claire Danes) thinks he may may actually be a secret terrorist. Of course, she's a "pill-popping, bed-hopping renegade" with credibility issues. What fun! How much do you want to bet the two of them hook up?
10. Finally, if I get really desperate there's always The Playboy Club. 

Figured I should offer equal opportunity eye candy

After I watch these season premieres, I'll tell you which ones I think are likely to still be airing in three months. In the meantime, which series will you be tuning in to?

P.S. You may be thinking that ANTM and Project Runway are reality shows, but since they in no way reflect my reality, they don't count.