Girl Stuff

In our elementary school, 5th graders see "the movie." Students know "the movie" is coming from early on, especially if they have older siblings. We parents receive notice from the school nurse and guidance counselor regarding the date of "the movie," and we're offered an opportunity to review and approve it for our child, and to be prepared to discuss it. If it comes to that. I did not review the movie.

When Ian saw "the movie" three years ago, I tried to get Rob to have "the talk" with him soon after. It didn't happen as I directed suggested. In fact, I'm pretty certain Ian and Rob still haven't had "the talk." I offered to take the lead, and even had a brief "chat" with Ian once, but that's as far as we got. Now that he's clearly interested in the fairer sex, I think it might be time for Rob to finally step up to the plate. But this isn't about Ian and Rob. This is about Abby and (gulp) me.

Abby saw "the movie" last week. I think it was last week. Could've been two weeks ago. Or two days ago. The point is, I wouldn't know. I forgot to mark down the date of this milestone, and Abby never mentioned it. If it hadn't been for another mom's comment about it, I may have forgotten about "the movie" all together.

I asked Abby about "the movie" yesterday. I asked her what she thought. She nonchalantly replied, "It was all in the book." "The book" she was referring to is The Care and Keeping of You, an American Girl title I had given to her two or three years ago for Christmas. I had heard good things about it and Abby was an American Girl fan, so I thought it would make a nice gift that she and I could uncomfortably discuss bond over later.


Purposely keeping this image small
so as not to freak out my male readers.

For those of you not familiar with The Care and Keeping of You, it is basically a book about the female body for pre-teens, covering everything from acne, braces, and lice, to underarms, breasts, and bellies. And then there's the section on "Big Changes." Self explanatory, right? The book is nicely done with very detailed illustrations. As in pictures of stages of development. And "How to Insert a Tampon." I wish I'd had this information when I was in college going through puberty.

My giving Abby "the book" was not particularly well thought out. The day after the Christmas I gave it to her, I suggested that we sit down and review it together. I was looking forward to a good mom moment for which I could pat myself on the back. That special time together went something like this:

Abby, let's look at the book I gave you.

I read it last night.

You read it last night?

Yes.

How much of it?

All of it.

All of it?! What did you think?

I didn't need to know all that.

We haven't talked about the book or any "girl stuff" since.

But now that Abby is eleven and has seen "the movie," I really think it's time for her and me to chat. I'm pretty sure she's not going to want any part of it, if her reaction to "the movie" is any indication. When I asked her about the "feminine product samples" she received that day in school, she dismissed me with a quick, "I threw it in a drawer somewhere in my room." Given that Abby has not willingly put ANYTHING, including her clothes, in a drawer in over a year, I'm sensing she's going to be one of those ultra-private girls. I had to search her drawers for a while in order to find it, buried like some trashy novel under a pile of soccer socks.

All my blunders where this "girl stuff" is concerned has resulted in my developing a plan. This time I'm going to do it right. I'm going to turn to the woman who taught me everything I needed to know about growing up:

Judy Blume.

Think Abby will like Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret?