One is Silver and the Other's Gold

It's just a matter of time...

I've been thinking about old friends lately. Not chronologically old friends, but friends I've known for a long time. Friends have been a recurring theme on my blog since day one. I guess as I get older I realize just how much they matter. How much they bring to our lives without expecting anything but friendship in return. None of that feeding, cleaning, laundering, and disciplining that our kids, and even spouses, seem to think they deserve.

While the friends whom I see on a regular basis form the innermost ring in my circle of friendship, old friends are at the core. It's those friends who "knew you when," who taught you what it means to have a friend and more importantly, what it takes to be a friend. I confess there were (and still are) times that I failed miserably in being a friend. I took much more than I gave. I was even more self-absorbed than I am now. I was moody (my current friends should thank God for pharmaceuticals). But, the worst thing I did was to allow friendships to slip away.

Last week I had the joy of seeing Amy, one of those "old friends" from college who hasn't slipped away. Even though we hadn't seen each other since her wedding several years ago, being together again was like slipping on your favorite pair of broken-in, comfortable jeans. No pretense, no awkward reuniting moment. Heck, it didn't even occur to me that I should have cleaned before she arrived. Possibly the only disappointment in our reunion was that she forgot to tell me I don't look a day older than when she saw me last, and that I'm every bit as cute as I was in college. Before Amy's next visit, I'll be sure to send her talking points.

I'm blessed to still have Amy's friendship, but being with her reminded me of those I've lost. Somehow I managed to alienate Krista, my best friend throughout college. Other than impersonal Christmas cards, I never hear from her. More recently, I let a friendship slip away that I cultivated during my last job, about 15 years ago. I think of Lynn often and I wish we were still in touch. In her case, I played the "I call her more than she calls me" card and decided the status of our friendship was up to her. Seems childish now that I think about it.

Yesterday, a friendship that matters a great deal to me was given new life, just when I needed it most. About seven years ago I became close to Susan, my son's first grade teacher. We spent a good amount of time together in the beginning of our friendship, but in the last couple years, I'd felt us drifting apart. We weren't making the effort required to keep in touch, given how different our lives are. As luck, fate, divine intervention would have it, I ran into Susan on Sunday and again on Tuesday, and we made plans to meet up on Wednesday. A four-plus mile walk together felt like mere minutes as we caught up on each others lives. I returned home with a few blisters, a feeling of peace, and a renewed spirit that I had been desperately needing.

People come in and out of our lives all the time, but when they leave the mark we call "friendship," we know we've been touched by angels. God bless the freakin' angels in your life!