Take it Personally? Who, Me?

They say it happens in even the best relationships. Time wears away the excitement and anticipation. It can be difficult to bring back those old feelings, especially when you've been disappointed in the past. Even understanding the nature of such things, I still felt a sense of panic last night when I just wasn't interested. In fact, I was downright bored. I had been looking forward to starting over, figuring spring fever would carry me along, but it didn't work out that way. Despite having endured traffic jams worthy of the World Series and been robbed of $20.00 for parking, the Phillies' exhibition game left me cold and I threw in the towel early.

Since October I'd been eagerly awaiting the start of the baseball season and this was it? I cried out in despair to Rob, "What's happening to me? Will the passion ever return?" He tried to make excuses for me, something about the appeal of warmer weather, but I knew there was more to it than the temperature or even the injury plagued team. Like many things in my life, this disappointment was the kids' fault.

My dad's view of baseball

I had brought Abby, Ian, and Ian's friend Keaton to the ball game with me. Despite front row seats in the best section of the park, Abby's head was on my lap and the boys were clearly bored. When I asked Keaton if he was a baseball fan, he honestly replied, "not really." Given that his dad is a major league soccer coach, I could understand his allegiance lying elsewhere. Still, the kids were bringing me down.

The more I thought about the companionship factor, the more I realized what a pivotal role others play in my level of enjoyment. If I have invited someone to join me for an outing or special event and they don't enjoy it as much as I do, the whole experience is diminished considerably. This can be something as simple as the fish not biting when I've taken someone fishing, Abby's team not scoring when my parents come to a game, or a less-than-inspiring sermon when I've brought a guest to church. The rational Kim understands that I can do nothing about the hunger level of the fish, the skill level of the players, or the divine annointing of the pastor's sermon, but the eager-to-please Kim illogically takes it personally.

Being the cheap conservative individual that I am, I am especially disappointed when a financial investment has been made (by my guest or me) in something in which they are less than enthralled. I specifically recall:

• Taking Rob and another couple to a musical during which the men would much rather have been watching sports (a bad call on my part, but still, they could've faked it)
• Treating my dad to primo seats at the ballpark and having him announce even before we entered the gates that he wouldn't pay $5.00 to see a baseball game
• Recommending an Indigo Girls concert to a group of girlfriends and having a couple of them actually leave before it was over just because it was raining and the venue was outdoors (the nerve!)
• Suggesting a movie (Everybody's Fine) that appeared to be a comedy based on the advertising, but was actually painfully depressing 
• Picking a restaurant only to have the service and food leave much to be desired

I confess, it even upsets me when someone doesn't laugh as hard as I do at something that I find hysterical. Yes, I have issues.

I have decided the only way to deal with this is to never invite anyone to join me for anything ever again. It may seem a little drastic, but it should save me countless hours in therapy. Keep in mind, however, that I am an excellent guest who laughs and cries at all the appropriate moments and never fails to show enthusisam and gratitude for the invitation. I encourage you to select me to be your go-to friend for any and all events and special occasions. I look forward to hearing from you!