Finding Your Place

My vision of Ian,
a few years into the future...

My son is a gamer. There have been years months days when I was certain I'd find him slumped over the computer keyboard or Xbox controls, his body weakened by a lack of fresh air, nutritional sustenance, and face-to-face human interaction. Ian's love of the game has caused his poor mother more than a little bit of angst, but now I'm seeing a light at the end of the virtual tunnel. Eighth grade will be remembered as the year Ian found his place...somewhere other than in front of a screen.

During the second half of the school year, it became apparent that Ian's "thing" is music and theater. He's enjoyed singing in the chorus since 6th grade, but more recently I saw evidence of his passion and commitment when he attended, without complaint, daily after school rehearsals for the school musical. These rehearsals ate into what would have otherwise been valuable game time.  In addition to the musical, this winter Ian was asked to join Cantible, the select vocal group he unsuccessfully auditioned for back in September. Turns out someone else in the group wasn't doing his job and Ian was invited to take his place. (They had after school rehearsals as well. Even less game time.) When I recently thanked the director for giving Ian the opportunity, she remarked at how he had blossomed and surprised her with his development as a singer.

This past Friday we received news that confirmed that Ian has indeed found his voice. I had a phone call from his best friend, Noah, around 2:30 p.m. before Ian had arrived home from school. The conversation went something like this:

N: Hey, wanna hear something?

M: Sure, what's up? 

N: I think Ian made the Silvertones.

M: What? No way. Where did you get this information?

N: Someone said they saw the list posted at the high school and Ian's name was on it.

M: Are you sure?

N: About 80% sure. 

80% was not sufficient with news as potentially big as this. See, the Silvertones is the most select singing group at our high school. Only 36 students from grades 9 through 12 will make the cut. I had been hoping Ian might make it by his senior year (oh ye, of little faith). I waited anxiously for him to get home from school. Fifteen minutes later, he came to the door with a shocked, disbelieving, over the moon smile.

Me: Is it true?

Ian (playing dumb): What?

Me: Did you really make Silvertones?

Ian: I think so. That's what Henry said. 

Henry is one of Ian's friends. His dad happens to be the director of the choral and theater program at the high school. This meant Henry was likely to have insider information. But still, Ian warned me, "Do not post this on Facebook." He expected a letter from the high school to arrive that weekend. A few hours later, a congratulatory phone call came from the Silvertones coordinator. And the postman delivered a glorious letter also confirming the good news. Ian was one of only two freshmen/women) to be selected. The letter also provided valuable details, including:

• Ian's strengths (excellent resonance, placement, and relaxation throughout) and weaknesses (precise independent intonation and reading)
• The requirement for Silvertones members to be in all three high school choral groups
• The immediate start of 7 a.m. rehearsals, daily.
• An upcoming introductory meeting for parents...to include discussion of the group's spring trip to Italy.

My son, the gamer, a latecomer to finding his voice, now a member of the Silvertones. We're still in shock here, but I couldn't be more proud.

Seeing your child "find his place" in the world---his gifts, a sense of accomplishment and joy, a circle of friends, belonging to a community---is one of the most amazing things I've experienced as a parent.

Thanks for allowing me to share the experience with you.