Parents Behaving Badly

As you might expect, I'm a loud and occasionally obnoxious an enthusiastic parent at my children's sporting events. I hoot and holler, scream wildly, and encourage the kids to "RUN!" "KICK!" "DEFEND!" I cheer for every hit, catch, goal, block, and nice try. As embarrassing as I can be for my children, and as much as I may annoy other parents, the one thing I never do is criticize. Having attended my fair share of children's sporting events, however, I can tell you that other parents are not as self-controlled as yours truly. 

A representative badly behaving parent,
not from deep Delco (as far as I know)

Abby is currently playing softball and the games this season have been particularly unruly. I've heard parents scream at their children:

"Don't swing at that! Make her throw strikes! She made you throw strikes!"

I've heard coaches criticize their players:

"You couldn't have hit that with a broom! Wait for a pitch!"

I've heard parents chew out coaches. And umpires scold parents and coaches. And parents instigate fights with coaches and other parents. Yes, the news you hear about parents behaving badly at kids' sporting events is true.

Last night's game was a doozy.

First, the other team kept catching fly balls. Players don't usually do that in U11 games (kids under age 11). It cost us runs, and that's annoying. Annoying, but not improper or disruptive.

Disruptive is having parents on one team (I'm ashamed to say it was ours) make a rude comment to an assistant coach on the other team, at which said coach asked them to repeat that comment and when they declined, confidently retorted, "I didn't think so." And frankly, I don't know what they were thinking insulting this particular woman. Even before they baited her, she looked like a ticked off linebacker, already in a bad mood because she wanted to get home for the Flyers game. Those Flyers fans are a mean, volatile bunch.

All this negative energy put the ump, who's normally very sweet, in a rotten mood. She called every possible error:

• Obstructing the base (lost us two outs and advanced runners)
• Batting out of order (an automatic out; the other coach was actually keeping track. Jerk.)
• Tossing the bat after getting a hit (one warning)

And she threatened parents and coaches on both sides with ejections for bad behavior. And no, I wasn't one of them.

Then there was the constant yelling. Our coaches are big into "KEEP GOING!!" when there's been a hit and a player is running to base. As long as the other team hasn't returned the ball to the pitcher, all's fair, and they take full advantage of it, even when it seems cruel. Of course, given the seemingly dirty (though perfectly legal) "RUN!!" instructions of our coaches, the other team decided to make it work for them as well. Now we had two coaches hollering at the girls to head to the next base. In the end, the "GO FOR IT!" approach worked out well for the other team and they beat our formerly unbeaten girls in the bottom of the last inning.

Heads were swimming. Their girls were screaming with joy, while ours were dejected by the loss and madness. It was like a reality TV show: "Naughty Parents of Deep Delco." (Only local readers will appreciate that deep Delco reference.)

Time to share. What's the worst, craziest, or most offensive thing you've heard at a child's sporting event?