Grateful Weeping is Always Appropriate

I am in a lousy mood with a bad case of writer's block. There may be a cause and effect relationship there. Regardless, the blog must go on, so I'm going to address one of my pet peeves. You seem to like it when I'm foolishly honest, so here it goes.

People who don't show the proper amount of appreciation bug me.  

As is often the case with our personal issues, this is genetic.

In my family (parents and sister), we don't go overboard on gift giving (the exception being my mother's Christmas Presentpalooza). Given the infrequency of our bestowing of gifts, when you receive one, it's understood you will make a Big Deal out of it. Translated, this means you will:

• Immediately try on any article of clothing received
• Wear said clothing within 24-hours
• Wear said clothing with any gifted jewelry
• Read the book, fill in the calendar, or watch the movie received within 48-hours
• Appropriately fill the candy jar, the flower pot, or the magazine rack within 72 hours
• Offer an Over the Top appropriate emotional display for any gift worth more than $50

Anything less means you didn't really like what you received and that the giver is not truly loved and appreciated. We're a sensitive bunch.

This proclivity toward Extreme Shows of Appreciation does not particularly resonate with my husband. In his family, it was all about the greeting cards, not the gifts. I think greeting cards are a waste of money unless they're holding cash, gift cards, or theater or concert tickets, in which case the Big Deal Reaction is warranted lovely, but clearly not worthy of a major show of appreciation. My husband really struggles with major displays of "Awesome!" when the gift received is something he did not request. I personally think surprise gifts (those you didn't ask for) are the best, but that's a different blog post.

My need for a proper show of appreciation extends beyond my family. While friends don't have to cry or express undying love, and don't have to swear to never take off the jewelry or t-shirt you gave them, a genuine, heartfelt "thank you" is appropriate. "You're the best friend ever," never hurts either.

A completely reasonable
show of appreciation

Then there are those occasions on which I share/give a friend or acquaintance something of value that I have but don't need, something that I graciously bestowed upon you over all others. Examples include Hersheypark tickets or a seat at the World Series. Serious gushing is appropriate in these circumstances and offering to buy me a beer at the game or a soft pretzel at the amusement park is the least you can do also a welcome response. In a few of these instances, I've felt more appreciated by complete strangers in the supermarket when I give them my extra coupon for free Turkey Hill ice cream. Just sayin'.

I realize that gift-giving should come from the heart and that the giver should expect nothing in return, but that's crap let's face it, even when we're giving a gift out of love, we expect to feel good in the process. If you fail to react appropriately, it's going to piss me off bum me out and I'm going to put you on my list of ungrateful jerks, never to receive anything from me ever again. That includes a piece of gum. A tissue may be all you can ask for and even then, your nose better really be running.

If you're wondering whether you're on my list, feel free to contact me privately. And if I have ever failed to Go Overboard in expressing my thanks for something you've done for me, please let me know. I consider it my personal responsibility to make sure the world learns how to make a Super Big Deal over every little act of kindness and so I must be sure to put my enthusiasm where my mouth is.