Leading the Uprising Against Semiotics and New Math

Laundering clothes ranks way up there with cooking when it comes to my domestic skills. If I even look at bleach it's sure to find its way on to whatever black item is in the clothing pile. And if it can be shrunk to fit Barbie, I'll shrink it. And this is with clear care instructions on the clothing label. So imagine my utter dismay when I discovered that this great new ensemble I recently purchased did not include care instructions, at least none that I could decipher.

Instead, as part of some underground, subversive, undoubtedly European movement, the label has been eliminated and replaced with the printing of instructions directly on the fabric...in symbols.

Now correct me if I'm wrong, but traditionally, when learning a new language (such as semiotics), isn't one afforded an opportunity for study and training? Shouldn't my new outfit have come with a symbol translation guide? A laundry APB or announcement on the emergency broadcast system would have been nice. Perhaps this semiotic movement was covered in all the women's magazines, but that wouldn't have helped me at all given that I avoid them like the plague (they make me feel inadequate as a wife, mom, and homemaker).

I see the upside in losing the itchy, uncomfortable, always-sticking-out-of-the-back-of-your-shirt tag, but honestly, how hard is it to print a simple "machine wash cold?" Or, better yet, just tell me what not to do: "Do not put this in the dryer or you can kiss your new purchase goodbye." Or, "Keep 50 feet away from bleach." There's also this clear and to the point approach to laundry care that makes a great deal of sense:

Of course, if my children try to use this "It's her job" line on me, I'm likely to strangle them.

Perhaps the issue here is bigger than laundry care labels. I think it might be about an aversion to change. For instance, I vehemently dislike the new math they're teaching our kids in elementary school. And I definitely put off oil changes as long as possible. I never made the switch to metrics (though the rest of the country was with me on this one). And I'm not psyched about the changes I'm seeing in my waistline. Or my hair color.  Or my eyesight and hearing.

I say, if it ain't broke, don't fix it!

Who's with me? And what changes make you crazy?