Labor Day and Ugly Babies

In honor of our upcoming Labor Day weekend, I've decided to write about childbirth. Just kidding. Nobody wants to hear about that, especially first time moms-to-be. I always want to smack moms who tell their childbirth horror stories to women who are expecting their first baby. It would be like starting a job that you're really excited about only to have a coworker tell you that the place is sheer hell, don't be surprised if you poop on the job, the training program won't really prepare you at all, and it will take months to recover from the experience. And real moms know the reality is that the pain of labor is nothing compared to the pain in the ass that the kid is actually going to be for 18+ years. Whew. Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. Can you tell the kids have been driving me nuts lately? Why do we seem to be the only school district in the country that hasn't already returned to the classroom? Tuesday can't get here fast enough.

Now that I've just spent an entire paragraph being bitchy, I think I'll skip the post I originally had in mind ("Teaching Social Skills to Your Tween") and share some miscellaneous thoughts that have occurred to me recently. Hey, I know readership will be down today with the looming holiday weekend and all...may as well save my good stuff for next week. So here you are, a second dose of Random Musings (if you missed it, the first one was back in February, titled "The Day I Decided to Take Up Drinking")

RANDOM MUSINGS, PART 2

• Has anyone else noticed that Smart cars look really dumb? They look like golf carts and they pretty much scream "I'm antisocial!! I don't ever vacation so I never need trunk space for my luggage, and I have no friends so I don't have to worry about giving someone else a ride." I apologize in advance for offending my readers and friends who drive Smart cars, though I stand by my impression of them. I'm in marketing and really, it's all about image.
• Since we've been in renovation/fix-it mode for the past year, I've been in contact with my share of contractors. And, I've come to the conclusion that these roofers, plumbers, builders, flooring guys, etc have it really easy. All they have to do is return your call or show up when scheduled to give you a quote and they've already outdone 75% of the competition. If they actually follow up with an estimate, they're 95% of the way there. It's maddening how hard you have to try to give someone your business and your money.
• Back to the Labor Day theme, while they're all beautiful in God's eyes, there are such things as ugly babies. Never known any personally, but I've seen them so I know they exist.
• Is it just me or can you pretty much tell you're not going to like someone by the slogan or words on the t-shirt they're wearing, the bumper sticker on their car, or even the car they drive?
• The plastic bags from grocery stores wouldn't be clogging up our landfills so much if these clueless baggers would assume I can handle more than a loaf of bread and box of crackers in one bag. Unless you're bagging for a 90 year old or someone with a back brace, fill the damn bags so I don't have to drag twenty of them out of my car. (And for the record, I do use reusable totes 95% of the time. Can you hear me patting myself on the back for my eco-friendliness?)
• Who knew jewelry had a year or season? Apparently at least one friend of mine does. She complimented a waitress on her earrings and they discussed how they were "last year's design." Damn, I've been wearing the same earrings since the 80s. Clearly I'm hopeless where fashion is concerned.
• And lastly, as a final tribute to my west coast trip this summer, I would like to note that, for supposedly being one of the healthiest states and the most narcissistic by far, California has more burger chains than I've ever seen anywhere. No wonder there are billboards and radio ads with special offers and pricing on liposuction. Sheesh.

All right folks, thanks for letting me vent. Here's hoping you enjoy your last unofficial weekend of summer. Stay safe. Don't drink and drive. I need you alive to keep my readership count growing.

Love, Kim