16 Surefire Steps to a Winter Morning Adventure

Looking to spice things up in the new year? Here's a 16-step adventure-ensured process that will work particularly well for the everyday domestic diva or suburban soccer mom. All it requires is a Honda Odyssey mini-van (which we all have) and a series of bad decisions:

1. Wait for a snowy morning. Snow does not have to be particularly deep. An inch or two will suffice. Ideally snow should still be falling at a rapid rate.
2. Take shower. Wash hair. Do not dry hair.
3. Put on threadbare socks and ankle high LL Bean boots.
4. Have child wear sneakers, no gloves, no hat.
5. Wait till last possible moment to jump in snow-covered mini-van to take daughter to school for 8:00 a.m. orchestra rehearsal.
6. Bring dog along for ride. Don't bother with leash.
7. Leave cell phone at home because you're running late and don't have time to go back for it.
8. Take side road daughter suggests so you don't run risk of waiting at train crossing, thereby causing her to be late for practice.
9. On side road, come to a complete stop at small incline while waiting for traffic to clear to make left turn. 
10. Discover you have no traction whatsoever and put car in reverse to slide sideways to side of road. 
11. Repeat.
12. Try to use small ribbon found in car as leash for dog. Lose leash; lose dog.
13. Capture dog. Stick in van. Turn on flashers. Open window a crack for air. Lock doors.
14. Start walking daughter to school on busiest road in town, facing into snow. 
15. Consider putting out thumb and hitching a ride.
16. One block to school, see neighbor who offers ride back to van. Ditch daughter for remainder of walk. Hope she makes it okay.

 Here are some optional steps if  you want to make your adventure even more memorable:

• After showering, do not get dressed. Put pajamas back on, skip bra, and wear fuzzy slippers.
• Put the cat in the car as well as the dog.
• Pour salt in gaping blister when you return home.

This process can be repeated throughout the winter months.

This blog post has been brought to you by Subaru.