What about the Man?

The response to Monday's "You Call It Bigamy, I Call It a Break" post was overwhelmingly positive. Women seemed to support the idea and clearly see the benefits of having sister-wives. Interestingly, not a single man commented on my proposal. One would think that they would be thrilled with having a bevy of women to call their own. But then again, as my husband pointed out, "you'd have to remember all those birthdays." I believe in male-ese that translates into "you'd have to listen to exponentially greater amounts of nagging."

Those women who expressed an interest in joining me as sister-wives had just one question:

How do we select the man?

An excellent question, indeed. And I should note that not one of them suggested or requested their own husband. Interesting...

In the interest of harmony at home, I will recommend my husband, Rob MacPherson. He has a great deal going for him, including an excellent sense of humor, intelligence, a love of children (much greater than my own), an easy going nature, a good job, and access to Phillies tickets. I must warn you, however, that he can be volatile when hungry, lacking caffeine, watching the Phils lose, or attempting home repairs.

Understanding that my husband may not be every woman's cup of tea (though I can't imagine why), I do see value in my friend Emily's suggestion that we rotate them in and out. There are definite advantages to this approach:

• We wouldn't get bored
• They wouldn't get overwhelmed by having so many demanding, nagging different women to please
• And most importantly, each man has something different to offer. For example:
• Kim G.'s husband has home improvement skills
• Dawn's husband likes to clean more than any woman I've ever met
• Theresa's guy enjoys coaching sports teams and knows how to handle multiple boys as well as Sunday school classes
• Rebecca's husband enjoys seeing Broadway musicals and also writing them!
• Karen A's man is a chef (we may rotate him in more often than others)
• Mo's husband enjoys boating and fishing (this is important to me, hence it makes the list)
• Kim S.'s husband is like the Pied Piper. Kids just gravitate toward him.
• Emily's husband can give surfing lessons and teach poetry writing

Please note that if I didn't include your husband in this list it's either because he is a Mets fan (there are some things that just aren't acceptable, even in bigamy), a "dumbass," or I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head. It's not because they have nothing to offer. I hope.

So there you have it, ladies. A foolproof plan to give ourselves a break and bond together with those who best understand and appreciate us. What could go wrong?