The other night Ian and I went out for dinner and ran into three young adults we know. The most outspoken of the three announced with what appeared to be some measure of embarrassment that they had just been talking about me. Naturally, I responded by asking whether it was good or bad talk. One of the three quickly said an unconvincing, “good,” but the leader of the pack replied with a more honest, “it was interesting.” He then specifically mentioned my Freakin’ Angel blog and my black belt and didn’t elaborate beyond that. At that point, Ian and I were seated and the conversation ended.
If you’ve ever accidentally learned that you had been the subject of someone’s conversation, you may have felt as I did: disturbed, concerned, curious. Oh, let’s be honest. I was more than curious. I was fairly dismayed! Based on that brief exchange I reached the conclusion that my blog and my black belt had been the object of scorn and/or ridicule.
Now clearly I enjoy attention. I don’t think there are too many bloggers and devoted facebookers who aren’t basically screaming, “Look at me!” Heck, I’ve been more than willing to sacrifice my pride and self-respect just to get the laugh. So I was surprised by my distress over the conclusion I had reached from this brief conversation.
I find it completely absurd that I should be so willing to expose my every thought and emotion to all of cyber-space and then be upset by the notion that someone disagrees or disapproves of what I have to say. It’s not as if everyone in the “real world” likes me and thinks I’m interesting or amusing, so why should everyone in the virtual world adore me? Geez, how delusional am I?
I figure this recent voyage of self-discovery means I either need to:
• Toughen up
• Reconsider my place in cyber-space
• Limit my posts to material that theoretically no one should have a problem with
I welcome any other recommendations you may have. Assuming they’re kind. Because clearly I’m a little sensitive…
8 comments:
Welcome to my world. My advice is to write about your children until such time they are a) bigger than you b) are aware that you're writing about them in public c) have dirt on you that they'll post on FB in an effort to pay you back for your blog content. I've not reached c) yet, but people asking my kids how they felt about my latest column in the paper which featured them and my children turning to me in absolute horror made me alter my subject matter, as well as create a legal document whereby I promise to allow them to read any material featuring them and/or pay a fine if I run it anyway. And, girlfriend/boyfriend mentions in public are grounds for Emancipation of a Minor.
Kim,
It's Keith from high school. I think it's great that you've reached the level you have in karate. I took it for several years off and on and made it to blue belt and know what dedication it takes. Don't worry about what others might think. Since it was a guy, they are probably insecure and felt they had to act that way because they feel threatened by a woman who is emotionally superior to them. I always thought you had spunk. Keep smiling and don't change who you are for anyone.
You have to toughen up. Consider the above scenario a training session for your ego (like a black belt training session). Not everyone is going to like what you post just like not everyone is going to like you. But unless you keep it real - it wont be interesting. And right now your blog is interesting. I remember a while back I posted something about the 2008 election to which one loyal reader responded that they were disapointed in me. Ouch! And I was once called an self important suburbanite that shold be ashamed of herself. I like to think these haters have nothing better to do than criticize others -- so I feel sorry for them. So there! Keep it real Kim - the only way to go.
don't change a thing. the simple fact that the kids were talking about it means it meant something to them (good or bad is not of consequence).
I think that this is your blog and you should talk about whatever you desire. Yes, this is extremely exposed material but it is how you feel and what you think. This is every US citizen's given rights. If anyone has a problem with what you say then that's their problem. I think it takes balls {pardon my language} to bare your inner thoughts and feeling to such a vast thing such is the internet. Regardless of what anyone thinks, you earned your 2nd Dan. Through trials and tribulations you progressed and advanced. I hope those that were talking smack on you read this and see what a$$holes they were being. I'd like to see anyone go through what you had to to earn your, well deserved, rank. Much respect for you Miss Kim.
My two cents…
Kim don’t ever change!!
So what? Some young adults said something. Your blog is entertaining and many of us enjoy reading your posts. You had a wonderful personality in high school, and obviously that has not changed. If they were poking fun at the fact you’re a black belt, then they seriously do not know what they are talking about. I am around and work with many martial artists. The most serious and talented martial artists are all very mature, confident and always gentle in word and deed. If they were stereotyping and joking about your limited size or the fact that you are very feminine then they once again are sadly mistaken. I spent 20 years in the Rangers and one thing I learned is that you never judge someone’s “heart” or ability by their size, gender or physical characteristics. If I were you, I would consider the source and not read too much into it. As someone else suggested….consider it a drill in toughing up.
Kim, I enjoy your blog. Don't worry about what others think, just be true to yourself. Continue to keep it real.
Kimber - since when do the comments of the untrained critic bother you? They obviously have not developed yet to a level of maturity to appreciate the humor real life has to offer. Let them have their opinions, chalk it up to the finickiness of youth. I still love you!!
Kath
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