Back to the Business of School

Alrighty. My fans My readers MaryAnn told me I needed to make my next blog post funny after the tearjerker that I offered last time. Will funny at my kids' expense do it for you, MaryAnn?

The obligatory first day of school picture

Here's a snapshot of life in "back-to-school" mode here at the MacShimer house:

• The back to school shopping list is always an irritating way to start the year. And I'm not talking about the traditional first day of school outfit and backpack. No, I'm referring to the school-dictated supply list that seems to get longer every year. How is it we spend a gazillion dollars a year on school taxes yet we have to provide for the classroom or our child:

• Baby wipes
• Cleaning wipes
• 2 boxes of tissues
• Zip loc bags
• Composition book, writing paper, graphing paper
• Folders
• Dry erase markers, regular markers, highlighters, colored pencils, regular pencils, and mechanical pencils
• Protractor
• And more stuff I can't remember off the top of my head.
• Abby kicked off the year spending hours creating the most awesome "Me" bag ever, her first assignment. This was preceded by a daring attempt to complete an entire summer math packet (more than 30 pages long) in just the last couple weeks of summer. She darn near finished it, too.
• Ian announced after the first day at school that he was going to hate the entire year because "none of my friends, except Hannah, are in any of my classes." I found out later this was an exaggeration. So unlike him.
• Abby wore a Hatfield hot dog hat to school yesterday because "my teacher wore a hamburger hat" the day before. And we know hot dogs and hamburgers go together. 
• Ian is joining the fencing team this year with a coach who is not only a former Olympian in the sport, but also claims to be part "pixie." Seriously.
• At back to school night, Abby's teacher described her as "highly motivated," and noted she "raises her hand for everything." Abby said the teacher never calls on her. Teacher annoyed with know-it-all over-eager student already?
• Ian had his first official meltdown over homework today. Asked me for help on his math assignment (insert emphatic "You must be kidding" response here). I suggested calling someone from his class for help but he declined. Instead, he prefers to just "drop out of enriched math." Claims it's too much for him. 
• $90+ Texas Instruments graphing calculator was too much for me (and that was for a used one on Ebay), but I bit the bullet and bought it. You're sticking with math, kiddo.
• Abby shed tears today because the teacher marked an answer on her in-class worksheet wrong. Abby says she's certain it's correct (and based on my limited subtraction skills, I think Abby's right). Only perfect worksheets get stickers and stickers are collectible. Abby doesn't want to bring it to the teacher's attention for fear of seeming like a know-it-all (see bullet point above).
• Ian has already lost misplaced one house key, less than two full weeks into the school year.

We've got our work cut out for us here, but it's all worth it when mom catches a look at Ian's first writing assignment for his "Journeys" language arts program:

I am funny and smart

I wonder if there is life on other planets

I hear the sound of the keyboard and my sister watching TV

I see the sights of the world from Google earth

I want to see the sites in person

I am funny and smart

I pretend I am good at sports

I feel a new insect in my hands as I make a great discovery

I touch the world around me

I worry about the environment

I cry about dead things

I am funny and smart

I understand that I am not perfect

I say God's Word is true

I dream about getting lost

I try to do well in sports

I hope there is life in the universe besides us

I am funny and smart.

(used by permission!)