5 Essential Children's Gift Giving Guidelines

"It's the most wonderful time of the year." If you're a kid, that is. If you're a mom with school age children the most wonderful time of the year is early September. As a parent I'll grant Christmastime 2nd place status with apologies to baby Jesus, though if he'd had kids, he would probably agree with me.

This weekend I looked through some of the dozen or so toy catalogs I've received in the past couple weeks. Abby has been kind enough to go through a couple of them, circling everything she wants. There were some requests that amused me, like the mini trampoline meant for 3-year-olds and the inflatable limbo stick; some I expected, like the friendship bracelet, jewelry, and scarf kits; and a few I'm giving consideration but have doubts about, including the sewing machine and pottery wheel.

Purchasing toys for children is an art and has very little to do with pleasing the recipient. As a public service, particularly for new parents, here are my guidelines for toy buying:

• Determine if this toy can be used to inflict bodily harm on siblings, pets, or parents. While almost any toy can be used as a weapon, you definitely want to stay away from pens, pencils, bow and arrows, BB guns, suspenders, Wii controllers, balls, bats, Nerf guns, Nerf swords, paintball guns, paintbrushes, rulers, Cutco knives, remote control cars, and paper airplane or origami kits.
• Anything with multiple parts should be avoided at all costs, and the smaller the parts, the more they should be avoided. This is particularly true when all the parts are necessary for the game or toy to function properly. Legos, K'nex, and Lincoln Logs are more acceptable because you can use them regardless of whether a few pieces go missing. 
• Carefully consider your purchase if this toy, craft, or gadget requires parental supervision or assistance. If you're one of those engaged parents who enjoys making treats with an Easy Bake Oven, melting crayons into car shapes, or sewing small handbags, than this warning does not apply to you. My idea of having fun with the kids is to take their money playing Texas Hold 'Em, otherwise, please leave me out of it. (Hence my reservations about the pottery wheel and sewing machine.)
• Does it require batteries? We go through batteries faster than milk and bread in our house. 'Nuf  said.
• And finally, unless you are married to my dad (and I'm hoping that distinction only applies to my mom), do not purchase any gift that requires assembly. If you fail to heed my advice on this, at least assure me that you won't wait until 12:30 a.m. on December 25 to begin putting the beast together. No child should be woken up in the middle of the night by the sounds of swearing coming from under the Christmas tree. 

Here's hoping your holiday shopping is safe, successful, and doesn't put you in debt.

And if I've missed any valuable gift-giving guidelines for children, please feel free to comment!