It used to be that my children's lack of respect for me primarily manifested itself in their inability to follow instruction. Or to follow instructions without them being repeated a minimum of six times at increasing decibels. Now, however, we've moved beyond simple disobedience to what I might call "parenting the parent." I actually blogged about one aspect of this a while back when I wrote of Ian's tendency to comment on my consumption of wine and Abby's "get out the vote for democracy" push.
The newest manifestation of my children's power grab peaked on Saturday night when, right before we left for a party, Abby informed me in all seriousness,
You would be a lot prettier if you smiled more.Ouch. I can actually recall my dad once saying that to me when I still lived at home. Though not nice to hear, moms and dads can say those kinds of things to their kids and get away with it. It's a little harder to swallow coming from the opposite direction.
Over the past few months, said nine-year-old has also found mom worth criticizing in a variety of other areas. She has asked,
Why are you angry all the time?And noted that,
You're always yelling at me.
And determined,
You don't like me anymore.It's exhausting. I feel like such a bad parent. Or a bad child. I'm not sure which. I am pretty certain I'm being manipulated and manhandled. And right before Christmas, too. I'll be lucky to get any presents this year.
The most disturbing part of this new relationship trend is that my children are only twelve and nine. We haven't even hit the teen years yet. God, give me strength. This is going to get ugly...
3 comments:
I hear ya...it's rough. I try to take advantage of those situations and explain that I'm human too and if I'm feeling stressed/overwhelmed, etc. how they can help me. (Assuming it's a topic that's appropriate for them.) This is part of parenting though. I'm convinced that God wouldn't give us kids if we could continue to grow as a person without them. It's God's way of continually stretching and refining us. And - as I was reminded last week when I heard of a family that lost one of their children - truly a blessing and a gift. Your kids are great little people...you must be doing something right!
Tis the season to be completely stressed so whatever is going on in your house is going on in probably every house across the country. Moms who LOVE this time of year and are all smiley and joyful (because nothing lights up your soul like a mile long to do list) are downright creepy. Be happy on December 26. Until then, do your best not to kill anyone and your probably ahead of the game.
I don't always have time to read your posts in a timely manner but when I do, I am reminded that they are worth a few minutes to read! I giggled when I heard that your child too will comment on your wine consumption and gasped at the more smiling comment.
BTW I think Kim G has it right!
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